Even though I pay interns like crap, there are many perks to becoming my intern.
- I buy you lunch when we go out to eat.
- After college graduation, you land at huge company once I teach you all my HR-y ways. I have a former intern working in New York City right now for Bayer Pharmaceuticals – that’s pretty, pretty, pretty HUGE.
- You get to babysit my kids so Shaun and I can go on dates, and sometimes we come home wasted and overpay you.
- And you get to ride in my minivan, listening to me sing, while I give you singing lessons.
Today’s Minivan Singing Lesson: How to Hit the Low Notes
It’s super simple. You just suck your face into your face.
My intern thought this was hilarious. She whipped out my phone and recorded it. She is forcing me to share it with all of you. In return, she is going to file for the rest of the afternoon (the thing she hates doing the most).
Enjoy.
Don’t worry. My face went back to normal. And all of my filing had better be done by 5pm, BETSY!
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
i would intern for you. but i don’t plan on getting a job after the internship is over. so i’m not sure what the ‘point’ would be, other than having fun.
of course, since i don’t need a real job after the internship, can i just, like, NOT file? because i am terrified of papercuts.
You look EXACTLY like Garth Brooks.
Would you take me as an intern if I already graduated college? And I already have a job, but working for you would be way more fun! Pretty please?!?!
Wonderful!
You know, I need a job where I ONLY have to file, I love filing. Ooh and making copies and collating. I love that kind of stuff!
You’re HIRED! Can you start tomorrow?
Oh, how I wish Cali wasn’t so far from Ohio!
Once my daughter is old enough for school I do think I am going to look for that kind of a job, does it have an official title? I am a preschool teacher, officially, but there isn’t much of a paycheck and rarely any benefits in that field, sadly.
I don’t want to be your intern, mostly because I hate filing. But I want to be your friend so I can laugh with/at you all the time!
I love you.
Yous got some ballz, lady. I like that about you. And by the sound of your sexy deep voice, it appears as if your ballz have dropped. Good stuff. You make me want to post my Billy Joel serenades.
I know, I am a pretty pretty pretty HUGE deal! Meredith was the best boss ever and I miss working with her so much! It was so much fun! You reminded me of baby Huey in that song! Sorry haha
Love it! Thanks for sharing!
You sound manlier than the one ex you had a loong while back…lol
I looove your posts. You are HI-larious! How’s the not cussing going?
OMG I’m cracking up and my husband just said I hang out with some fucking weirdos hahahaha
You and your intern must have a blast! Glad to see people do enjoy the simple things in life… like attempting to imitate Josh Turner… I try my best to suck my face in too; unfortunately my manhood seems to be stuck up very high somewhere so I end up sounding more like a sickly Carrie Underwood.
LoL 
Thanks for the smile!
Sounds like a great time, but I too wouldn’t have time to come be your intern until after I am done with my current program at school too. I have worked as a secretary for my dad’s company on and off for many years and as a babysitter as well! I’m sure you’d be a great boss….and I could use singing lessons!
—I don’t want to be your intern, but I’ll definitely let you tak eme out for a nice spinich salad w/ a nice glass of Merlot.
)
x
I could seriously file ALL DAY LONG, every day. I was basically born to be a secretary/assistant/intern.
Also, I’m very relieved to hear your face went back to normal. And I laughed really hard at the video.
#thisiswhyiloveyou
You know I would LOVE to. Can I telecommute from Vegas?