Career Defining Moments are those moments you wish you could take back.
Maybe you cussed out your boss. Maybe you lied on your resume. Maybe you called in sick on one too many Mondays.
Whatever it was, this was the moment that broke your employer and left them no choice but to fire you.
As an HR Manager, I’ve seen many people lose their fabulous jobs over something really stupid. They’ve stolen $5 in gas for their personal vehicle, they’ve wrote on Facebook about their hatred for the company (and forgot they had their boss and the owner), and I’ve even witnessed someone come to work drunk and drive a semi truck into another semi truck. These are all great examples of Career Defining Moments.
But I have to say, Stephanie Robinette (not an employee of mine), really takes the Career Defining Moment cake when she was recently fired from her job as a school teacher.
Stephanie (of Westerville, OH) got super wasted at a wedding reception. She also got into a big fight with her husband. I’m not sure what he did to make her hit him several times in the parking lot of the reception hall, but I do know Stephanie was having the worst day ever.
After striking her husband several times, Stephanie locked herself in the family car as local police arrived on the scene. The cops demanded Stephanie exit the car so that they could most likely arrest her for assaulting her husband. As any drunk person (who sees their career & marriage flashing before their eyes) would do… Stephanie yelled a plethora of swear words at the officers and refused to leave the vehicle.
After much back and forth, Stephanie solidified her Career Defining Moment.
She rolled down her window and shot the police.
With her breast milk.
COME ON, STEPHANIE! HOW MUCH DID YOU HAVE TO DRINK?
Many things crossed my mind when I read this news story.
- Why are you wasting good breast milk? That stuff is like liquid gold.
- Were you planning to pump and dump when you got home? Or is this why your baby sleeps through the night?
- Did you catch your husband making out with another woman in the coat room? Because I really can’t think of anything else that would make me completely lose my mind.
- What was the reaction of the policemen that you were spraying? Did they puke?
- You must have really nice boobs. Because I just cannot imagine whipping mine out at a wedding reception.
- Was the bride crying? I think I would have cried if this happened at my wedding reception.
- Selma Hayek is going to be super pissed that you didn’t find a starving African baby to randomly breastfeed.
Anyway, Stephanie has since lost her job as a school teacher. She lost her job before she even went to court, where she was convicted of obstructing official police business and ordered to pay a $200 fine. Obviously, Stephanie had a wonderful lawyer. But even her wonderful lawyer can’t get her job back.
So let this be a lesson to you, ladies. Don’t ever get drunk at a wedding , punch your husband, lock yourself in the family car, and spray the police with your breast milk. You can thank me later for giving you this advice.
What was she thinking?