The results are in. You either love me or hate me. And I could care less. Kind of. Okay, it stings a little.

by Meredith on November 26, 2012

I’ve been doing speaking about Facebook recruiting lately. Probably because it’s a fairly new concept. And after these talks, I always get feedback from the audience.

Here’s the latest:

I think a more through (sp) process needs to be put into place when picking session speakers. Meredith Soleau lacks ETHICS! I understand Ed Schmidt is her first HR job, but before you speak in front of tenure PROFESSIONAL HR associates you should know right from wrong. What she does to recuit (sp) is just absolutely dishonorable!

Oops! It was probably unethical to put that comment on my site. Oh, well!

My brain wants to go like this when I look at that comment:

You don’t know me, fool! You don’t know about my ethics! You don’t know what’s in my heart! You never walked a mile in my shoes!

But I’m going to keep it together here, and try to teach you guys something new I’ve learned about nasty people.

Look, I don’t have some magic Facebook bullet that allows me to hack into people’s accounts. I can see where they work because they leave it open in their “About” section.

No one has ever, even once, while I am recruiting them told me that I went too far or that they didn’t like me. Do you know why? Because I am not some stuck-up HR snob, preaching policy from my HR ivory tower, and telling other people how perfect I am. I am extremely nice to my candidates, and I treat them all with respect. I tell them where I found them, and none of them care that I found them on Facebook, and none of them care that I called them at work.

So…

I don’t really care if you think I lack ethics (because I don’t). I care if I am getting my job done (because I am). And I care if the people I am recruiting find me ethical (because they do).

So take your professional HR tenure, and run an ethical help wanted ad in the newspaper or something. Good luck to you.

Now, I can sit here and stew over the fact that someone said nasty things about me (which is secretly what I want to do), or I can do what my new friend Erika Oliver taught me to do.

I can focus on the positive. Which is way more fun anyway.

Name Three Good Things

Erika Oliver talks about how she was very negative once in her life, and how focusing on the positive made her a better person.

A few weeks ago, I decided to test Erica’s positive and negative theory.

I asked Facebook two questions:

1. Name three good things. (52 comments and 41 likes)

2. Name three bad things. (60 comments and 16 likes)

I had an employee, Matt, who is my Facebook friend come up to me the day I asked about the bad things and say, “Meredith, what are you doing? Why would you even ask that? Yesterday was much better.”

And he’s right! Being positive makes us feel so much better! We even “like” these things more often on Facebook.

But we also love to complain. It’s so easy. We complain about everything, especially things we don’t like or understand. Like the lady who complained about me, and like the 60 comments of complaints on Facebook.

So that’s it for me. I can’t fix what she said about me. Yes, it makes me upset, but I am choosing to not let her get my panties in a bunch all day. Instead, I’m going to keep being positive.

Good Thing #1

I am getting booked like crazy to speak. I happen to be speaking on Wednesday to a bunch of attorneys about social media policies and why it’s not life and death, and something we need to police like crazy people, like lawyers and HR people tend to think.

Good Thing #2

I tell the truth when I speak. I don’t sugar coat any of it, and even comments like this will not make me sugar coat it. I tell these people exactly what I do, how I do it, what I say, and I leave nothing out. A lot of people have thanked me for putting the HR-BS aside, and just admitting what has worked and what has not worked.

Good Thing #3

Nike is trying to talk to me. So I must not suck that bad! They heard me speak in Vegas, and they would like to “chat”. I haven’t called them back. And I won’t.

I am not going anywhere so there’s no point in having that temptation. I happen to love working at Ed Schmidt. Not even Nike can pull me away. I tried leaving once, and we all know how that worked out.

But, it feels good to know that there are other companies (and major companies, at that) who like what I have to say in regards to HR and recruiting.

Oh, and once I applied to Google, just to see what their rejection looks like, and they still haven’t sent me one. So there is a slight chance that Google wants me, too. Maybe.

Can’t Nobody Break My Stride

I’m not going to let this bring me down. I’m choosing not to care, and I am choosing to laugh it off, and use her statement as my new opening slide whenever I speak. This way, whoever is thinking this in the crowd, knows I already know how to laugh it off when they get petty with me.

But I want you guys to feel better, too.

Tell me three good things going on with you right now.

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Nuala Reilly

I really love this post Meredith. Like REALLY. There has been so much going on with me in the last week/6 years that right now I’m buried under an avalanche of, well, stuff. I *could* wallow around in the negative (and trust me, I really want to…so bad) but I have to actively remind myself to hang on to the positives. It’s not always easy to do, but if I don’t, I’m going to wind up in another major depression again and nobody wants that. Not even me.
I hope that someone posts up one of your speaking engagements on YouTube (if they already have and I missed it…link please!) because I’d love to hear it. Plus, I just think your accent is adorable.
So, yeah. Thanks.

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Tawny

Nike huh? Tempting, buT I respect your decision.

Hell I have never met you and I am proud of you. You are honest HR person and damn is that refreshing.

Also I love those questions on FB you should do that again. It was fun!

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Tawny

I forgot my three things!

1. I found out I am having a baby girl!
2. My house is all decorated for Christmas and it makes me all warm inside.
3. We found out my husband is being offered a promotion this week!

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Kim

I love this so much, and you, and the fact that you are just like me and don’t sugar coat things. : )

Three good things? I won a cool tailgating thing on Facebook, I only have two more weeks of fall semester and it looks like I’m on the Deans List again, and I woke up on the right side of the dirt again today !

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Carmen Hudson

Meredith…don’t spend another minute fretting over that person’s feedback. Spelling and grammatical errors aside, it’s pretty clear that he/she is an idiot who hasn’t had to recruit in a competitive environment. Prolly places an ad in the local newspaper and waits for the curly faxes to roll in. Whatever. Keep speaking. Keep telling the truth. Return Nike’s call. Say no if you must, but hear them out.

HR ninnies get their panties in a bunch when you talk about Facebook. I don’t really know why. They clam up when you talk about Twitter, because they really don’t know what it is.

P.S. People are still talking about our Vegas panel. We did something right.

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Michelle

I need to start doing this positive thinking thing more often…. So, here goes.

1) I am booking a flight to see my most favorite grown-up person for a long weekend this weekend. It will be delightful in every way, and I’m counting the seconds.
2) I had a GREAT Thanksgiving weekend with my kids, especially my daughter, who lately seems to truly enjoy spending quality time with me.
3) I am getting my hair done in a few hours which is always fantastic – I love my stylist.

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Rae Ann

DO YOUR THING!

Three things –
1) I just had my first holiday event with my sweetheart’s family and it was…..easy. They were warm and welcoming. (I am with a widower and I keep thinking that people are going to compare me with her or expect me to fill her shoes versus merely being me. In this case, I love being wrong.)
2) I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel re: de-cluttering the man’s home.
3) I feel profound peace in the knowledge that, with the exception of work, I am were I am supposed to be.
All of this makes me me giddy with gratitude.

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Jasmine

I love, love your blog!! I have been reading for quite sometime now and you always make me laugh! You are 100% right, haters are always going to hate. I try really hard to be positive and not complain about things. It does nothing but make me grumpy and I like to be happy so for 3 good things.

1. My house is clean and my laundry is all caught up. (You can tell how stressed out I am by how much laundry I have to do. A load or less and all is right with my world. :)

2. No Christmas stress for me this year – we are going to Florida for Christmas and my children all decided that a few surprises and a vacation that includes shopping for things they want in Florida sounds way more fun than cold, snowy Indiana! YEAH!

3. I have the best boss ever, I might have a few co-workers that would not win a popularity contest. But my boss rocks!!! That makes going to work, way more enjoyable

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Jill

Great post!! It is so easy to focus on negative things, I find myself doing it a lot.

Three good things for me:

1. All my son’s Xmas presents are bought and wrapped!!

2. We finally made our son’s bedroom look awesome

3. I got a bigger diamond for our anniversary last month

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farrar

love your post and your honesty!
3 things -
1.) I have a job and am hoping we get some good news on my husband getting a job soon
2.) I am 31 and have my house paid for completely so. YAY! No one can take it :0)
3.) I am blessed with an AMAZING family and support system

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Tarah

Using her comment to open up your slides about Facebook recruiting is the best kind of revenge (positive revenge, of course) you can get. You are throwing the HR BS in everyone’s face, right from the jump, and getting that crap out of the way. Positive is so much better. Something I work on every day. Good for you, Meredith.

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Tarah

Damn, forgot my three things:

1. We just moved into our new house. It’s our first purchased house for both of us and it’s where our daughter will grow up.

2. My husband said last night he loves my family. Awwww.

3. I’m working for a company that values me. It’s so refreshing.

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Betsy

Your old intern might want to work for Nike…

3 good things:
1. I lost 6 pounds last week even with Thanksgiving happening.
2. I found a place that serves Walking Tacos (my fave).
3. I have a bottle of red wine waiting for me at home.

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Tawny

I love this comment.

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Dory

1. I put ham and bean soup on at noon and it smells amazing. Dinner is DONE.
2. My sons brought home report cards and there were no Fs.
3. My husband came home for a nooner.
Life is good. Even though I have no money for Cyber Monday deals. *shrugs*

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Kristen

You are so awesome. I can’t wait until we can drunk dial again. Also, how is that possibly unethical? I just can’t wrap my head around that.

I was seriously just thinking, as I was scrolling through my newsfeed, where I ended up seeing this link, that I have had a major chip on my shoulder this semester, and I need to cut it out. So it’s like you read my mind, as you do sometimes.

My three things:
1. This semester is ALMOST OVER OMG I CAN’T WAIT TO ACTUALLY LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS MY FAMILY MORE THAN 48 HOURS A WEEK.
2. When I heard I was having another boy (and this makes me feel like a shitty mom, but there’s a happy ending, I promise), I almost cried. Now, I’m starting to see myself as KRISTEN SCHINSKY: RAISER OF THE MOST BAD ASS BOYS EVER. I LOVE discovering who I am as a mother, and I am super stoked to be given the chance to raise another boy.
3. We finally decided on a name, and just like with Logan, it was my idea, that I planted in my husband’s head about 4 months ago, and he dismissed it, and now he thinks it’s his idea. I got what I wanted :)

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Erica

I love it! Positivity for the win! Don’t get me wrong I have my moments where I cry and wallow for a day but I really do try and remain positive. When there is a problem I am ok what are we going to do about it and the Hubs is all holy shit the sky is falling. So yeah we balance each other….usually.

3 things:
1.) I’ve lost 28 pounds since June 1st when I started trying. I feel like I wasn’t losing for a while and my body shifted over some sort of plateau and now I am losing again. The funny thing is recently I lost like 4 more pounds somewhat quickly and it seems to be the right ones because like everyone is commenting on it and none of my work pants fit. So boo shopping for new pants and yay my pants are easy to whip off ;) I LOVE people telling me how awesome I look. At 5’2″ that 200 pounds way weighing me down and now I am seeing #’s in the 170′s and it feel GOOD.
2.) Today neither of my kids are fighting a cold.
3.) A friends Husband loves the company he works for and has decided that my Husband HAS to work for said company. We like this very much. The Hubs has wanted to switch fields for some time but our two kids happened and he needs someone who is willing to take a risk on someone who has the right work ethic and brains and not the years of specific experience. So here’s hoping!

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NC

1- I am going to see Paul McCartney this Wednesday the 28th and, have great seats!
2- Although the renovations for our kitchen are 3 weeks past the contract date, I have not lost my cool and, eating Lean Cuisine every night from a microwave in the PC room has not killed me.
3- I finally don’t have to work through lunch anymore after 3.5 years and, got a nice raise Togo with it. No more overtime either. I will be bringing home more doing 8 hour days than 10 hour days.

Got more but, you asked for three.

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Sarah

I work for one of THOSE HR people. It is beyond annoying and soul-sucking. You, on the other hand, are awesome, and I love your blog. It’s nice to know there are HR people who are not jerks.

My three things:
1. I have been dating an old high school classmate and I do believe he is THE one.
2. I got a random, unexpected check from BOA for all the raping they did with their overdraft charges a few years ago. (Thanks for my money back, aholes!)
3. Tonight I’ll be decorating someone ELSE’S Christmas tree. Which, hello, is fun. :)

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DS

I love reading your blog because you are honest and real – please do not ever stop!

1. Hubby got put on a new project that requires more travel:( but that means free air tix for my friends wedding in Feb:)

2. I am still job hunting, but hubby works and we are just fine financially, and my bachelors is done!

3. I have the 2 best kiddos ever who still give me hugs and kisses everyday even though one is technically a grown up (18) and the 13 year old is now 6’1″.

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KellyW

You go girl!

1. My boys are growing up and becoming their own little people.
2. My husband is hard at work looking for another job since his was downsized and I am trying really, really, really had to stay positive, (fingers crossed, come one 2nd interview!)
3. Christmas is coming! And we are getting our first real tree this year!

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Gail

I had the opportunity to attend your session and have to say that I took away a lot of useful tips and tricks to implement in my quest to recruit. I pray I don’t become an HR curmudgeon! Embrace technology and life! It beats the alternative!

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Elinor

Love this post I wish someone would recruit me via Facebook… Or in general… sigh… But good things:
1: I still fit into my prom dress, even after ten years!
2: All my cousins are coming home for Christmas and we’ll be watching the Doctor Who special together!!!!
3: I made the decision to move to the UK after Christmas to be with my boyfriend… and while it’s not ideal at least the decision is made.

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