The Quarter Life Crisis

by Meredith on September 28, 2012

So…

I’ve ditched the minivan.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I lost myself in that damn van. There were days when I didn’t even do my hair, you guys. That’s how you know.

I would walk out to that van each morning, and just LOATHE who I had become. The van was a direct representation of me. At least, in my head, it was a direct representation of me.

I had become everything I never wanted to be: A mom who had given up on herself.

Now, don’t go getting all offended if you love yourself and you drive a minivan. Just understand, minivans aren’t really my “thing”. I also don’t like olives. Or drinking things from the same glass more than once.

I’m now driving a brand new GMC Acadia, and I love it. When I get in it, I feel fancy. I could be a mom or a rapper’s girlfriend in this pimp-mobile. It could really go either way.

But the new whip isn’t the only thing that’s changing.

I’m changing.

I’m going to start doing more for Meredith.

This doesn’t mean I am going to do less for Shaun; or less for Lars, Logan, and Lilah. This just means, I’m exploring all things again. I’m trying to figure out who I am, and who I want to be when I grow up.

And no, I am not quitting my job again. My career is about the only thing I’ve nailed down.

I’ve just got to pull myself out of this funk.

So that’s what I’m going to do. And I’m going to be selfish. And I’m going to do more things for me… and just me. Hell, I might finally get my four-times-broken-nose straightened back out. I might even get this hangy skin, from having a bunch of babies, chopped off. And after it gets chopped off, and smoothed out, I might even put on a bikini. WHO KNOWS WHAT I MIGHT DO!

And I apologize to all of you for not writing as much recently. I just couldn’t find my voice because I had lost myself, and this blog was supposed to help me find my voice, but then it just felt like a lot of pressure, and more and more people were coming here who were super judgy. So I just slowed it all down.

But I’m taking my filter off again.

I’m saying, “To hell with feeling judged.”

I’m saying, “I haven’t been happy with myself in years, and I’m about to change that.”

I’m saying, “I’m going to wear more red dresses because I think they make me look sexy as hell.”

I’m saying, “As a woman, it’s okay to want to look and feel good about myself.”

Getting rid of that damn van was step one.

Brace yourselves.

I don’t know what this is. It’s new and it’s awkward, but awkward in a good way. Maybe it’s a thirty-something thing. Maybe it’s a quarter-life crisis.

Have you ever gone through a self-created-life-shake-up?

{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Tracy Whitmore

Tell me where you got the damn hot dress! I must get one.

Reply

Meredith

JC Penney’s! It’s American Living.

Reply

Cas

Im pregnant… I have a life shake up every 5 minutes… or it could just be the emotional hormonal rollercoaster I am on….or I could just be crazy… so many reasons so little time…lol. But do what makes you feel good…this makes number 3 for me… 2 boys and finally a girl. I occasionally lose myself… hell I probably need a gps right now. After I have this one.. Im going to find myself… or maybe just a good shrink..or maybe a bar…or a hairstylist… What was I looking for again?

Reply

Elizabeth

Love the dress Meredith! It looks amazing on you!

Reply

Danalyn

The dress is fantastic and for sure looks sexy!
I’m still at the lost my voice stage. Lost my… sense of me. Good for you for doing things for Meredith! Maybe someday I’ll follow in your steps (but in my own way, of course)

Reply

AngieM.

good for you!

also..that dress is SUPER amazing on you & makes your boobs looks HOT.!

also also..i checked jc penney’s website and if they had you model it instead of the girl modeling the red dress..they’d probably sell A LOT more of them.

Reply

Leigh Anne

That dress is BANGING!!! And Super Judgy people suck.

Reply

bellawriter (Nuala Reilly)

Last year, I did the tummy tuck. For me. This past April I ditched my 10+ years of minivans and got a jeep grand cherokee. For me.
I gotta go find me a red dress….

You GO girl!!!

Reply

bellawriter (Nuala Reilly)

And who is getting judgy?? I’m scrappy, if you ever need to form an ass-kicking posse.

Reply

Untypically Jia

Rock on sistah-friend!

PS: OMG you look amazing in that dress!

Reply

Kenny

Oh shit…wow…damn…it’s nice to see your new look came with the front airbags deployed….err I mean your new whip..

Reply

K

AmaZing..everything I feel Right now…Minus the mini Van..I have a Year old Acadia..-white-ALL the Bells and whistles…ALL of em…Mer..keep writing..I SO relate to you!

Reply

Robin

First of all – the dress makes your boobs look FABULOUS. Second of all, screw the judgy assholes.

Thirdly – I am working through something similar myself. You should read “Twenty Something, Twenty Everything” by Christine Hassler. She is an “expert” on quarter life crises (some of us get them at 33 instead of 26) and the book helped me navigate my feelings on a lot of shit.

Reply

Tawny

I swear to Gid you are going to make me buy a new car!

Lol

Love the dress, the girls look fabulous!!!!

Reply

Jasmine Robertson

I used to have a mini van, it was a weak moment. I had been out shopping with my kids all DAMN day and they had been touching each other and fighting. When I looked at the van it was like angels were singing. After I regrouped post -van I realized that it was not a good idea. I am not a mini van mom, plus the more room you have the more kids try to come home with you!!!

I now drive a car and I like it very much and sorry we are all out of room but my kid is more than welcome to ride with you!!!

You look fabulous in that red dress!! It totally matches your personality and your blog – you’re awesome and deserve to do things for yourself.

For all you haters out there…… Suck it and move on because fabulous doesn’t have time for you!!

Reply

Tess

I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. When exactly did I leave the planet? Somewhere between the hubs, kids, house, job, etc. I apparently forgot who I was and thought it didn’t matter anymore. WRONG. I am having a rebirth. People should get out of the way. I’m just saying. Good luck with yours.

Reply

Justin

I spy……………… BOOBS.

Reply

Valerie

When I grow up I want to get rid of my mini van and be an SUV mom too. Right now I’m lost with twins and a toddler so don’t get to be me yet! You look awesome!!

Reply

April

Foxy.

Reply

Joy

This post and all of its comments make me happy.
It’s good to know I’m not the only mom who wants to do something for me :)

Those judgy wudgy people? How to say this…..

HATERS GON’ HATE.

Miserable people want other people to be miserable with them. They can’t write a blog with any type of following. They’re jealous that you can write or probably because you have really great hair and boobs you didn’t pay for. Doesn’t matter the reason they suck.

You, however are FABULOUS!

Reply

Jayme

You look amazing in that dress! I also love that it is JCP. I always buy my dresses there. I have never bought a red dress but I really want one. I love to hear when people start doing more for themselves. I recently went through the same thing. I knew something was missing in my life and decided to go back to dance (not the pole kind) and I am loving every minute of it. It is like I have found myself again. Good for you Meredith. I think you are pretty fucking fabulous!

Reply

Jen

Oh, I think that I am going to like this ride. Can’t wait to see where it goes!

Reply

Erin @ Miss Lifesaver

I think The Bloggess would be very proud of you for that red dress. You look super sexy in it!

Women, especially mothers (and this is coming from someone without children), have such a hard time doing things for themselves. I give you major kudos for taking a step back and realizing that you deserve happiness too!

Also, I love that you’re calling this your quarter-life crisis… I like the optimistic life expectancy it implies. :)

Reply

Sara

I big fat puffy heart you :)

Reply

Tara

You’re beautiful and smart and funny. You go, girl. Enjoy your quarter life crisis.

Reply

Heather

Guuurrll, you look fine!

I did the mini van thing for 9 months before I traded that thing in. I felt OLD and just couldn’t take it. I felt old but looked like a teenage mom driving a mini van already.

GO YOU! I can’t wait to hang out with the revamped you!

Reply

Angie Tobias

You go girl!

Reply

Kristen @ The Chronicles of Dutch

I feel you. Shedding all the ‘not you’ things sounds like fun! But never, ever get rid of that dress.

Reply

Erica

You rock Meredith! You do look awesome in that dress and seeing that pic months ago on twitter was an inspiration to me!

It is hard to do things for me when I feel like all I do is take care of other people. I try and make sure that I do things with girlfriends (when it actually comes up). About 6 months ago I started my own side business and I feel like that has really beeing helping this girl get her groove back. My job stopped being challenging and fun long ago but it serves my personal life well right now (I can work part time, I don’t worry about it when I am not there, and my medical benefits are great) so it just really isn’t time to shake things up there with 2 small toddlers at home. It is crazy for me to just sit around and not be working towards a promotion and be in the same job for 5 years but I just can’t pass up the schedule and conveince right now. I didn’t really realize how unhappy I had gotten until I started working for myself and now even though that is making me crazy and can be often stressful it is the right kind of crazy and stress and I am starting to feel whole again.

Reply

Sarah

LOVE this post. You go girl. I got rid of my minivan a few months ago (only because I totaled it, but hey, whatever), and not driving the Mom-Mobile has already brought in a shift of self esteem. And I mean this in the least pervy way possible, but holy hell, your boobs look awesome in that dress!

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: