Step One: Start a Girl Band

by Meredith on October 1, 2012

Now that it’s out in the open that I’m on a mission of self-indulging happiness,  I can freely share my insane thoughts with you.

Okay, so I really miss singing. And truly, I think that was supposed to be my fame calling, but I went to college instead. Which? Was probably a good idea. Especially since I have an addictive personality, and I would most likely be a total druggie or alcoholic right now, had I not gone to college. And all of my songs would probably be about one night stands.

Anyway, I regret letting the musical side of me go.

I think playing an instrument is completely awesome, and I’m instantly jealous of anyone on a stage, even at a local dive bar, who has an instrument in their hand. I can play the clarinet. Which is super dorky. So I need to learn to play something cooler, like a guitar.

I want to start a girl band. I want to sing and play guitar at the same time. I want to be the next Dixie Chicks.

Naturally, I called my totally insane counterpart, to pitch the idea to her. She and I already have a singing history together. As we both scored leads in our high school’s musicals.

Which? Is yet another sign this girl band is meant to be.

Brittany, want to be in my girl band?

YES!

Wow. You didn’t even hesitate. I’m going to find someone to give me guitar lessons. You need to learn to play an instrument to be legit. Otherwise, we’ll just look like assholes who can only produce music in a studio. 

Fiddle. 

That’s what I was thinking of for you!

Or maybe banjo? 

Sure!

Or harmonica? Yeah, Meredith, I’m  feeling the harmonica because I can just make that shit up. I’ll be like Neil Young.

Seems spitty and unsexy. No harmonica. Plus, you’d have to wear one of those boob harmonica holders.

No, I wouldn’t. The holders are only if you play another instrument. My instrument is going to be just a harmonica, so I’ll hold it in my hand. Otherwise my hands have nothing to do, and I’ll just be awkwardly waving them around on stage.

No, dude. If you pick harmonica, you for sure have to put on the boob holder on, and you get hand dance moves, simply because you’re the asshat that picked harmonica. 

I want to sing all the low parts, and I know you’re going to try to take the low parts from me.

I’ll sing the high stuff, that just means I get more solo time. 

What kind of music are we singing?

Country. Duh.

Um? No, Meredith. I am not starting a country band.

Too late, Brittany Gibbons! You already said you were in, and this was my idea!

Fine.

We already have a potential album cover (YET ANOTHER SIGN!):

 

We’re totally taking this act on the road. Or at least into my garage.

And since she used to play soccer, and I was a cheerleader, our girl band is going to kick some balls and be super upbeat!

And as soon as we learn a song, we’re going to put it on YouTube.

There’s just one thing missing. Well, two things.

1. We need to find someone to give us guitar/harmonica/banjo lessons in the greater Toledo, Ohio area.

2. We don’t have a band name.

I’m personally giving away at $25 iTunes gift card to the person who names our girl band! Just leave your comment below! Come up with as many names as you’d like! Thanks for your help!

The girl-band-naming-contest runs through 11:59pm tomorrow (Tuesday, October 2, 2012).
I’m picking the name and paying for your gift card. So be creative!
Good luck! 

{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }

Tawny

Beatbox Vagina

Reply

Meredith

GOOD ONE! You know how I LOVE the word “vagina”!

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Tawny

I tried to name my wireless network Boombox Vagina, but my husband is a prude and would not let me. When I saw your post I knew I just had to submit my idea. I figured Beatbox fit better, not sure why.

Reply

Michael Allen

Quarter Life Crisis!

Reply

John Jorgensen

Life’s Crazy Joke (branding is already out there) or 2 Hip Chicks.

Reply

Meredith

John, Life’s Crazy Joke is exactly the stupid name I’m talking about.

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John Jorgensen

Bad Girls Have All The Fun?

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Michael Allen

Also, I think you’re missing the take on instruments. Instead of learning a new instrument, it’s up to you to make the clarinet cool!

Reply

Crystal

Since Brittany changed the name of her blog, why not base it off the name she used previously? The Barefoot Foodies. It’s catchy. :)

Reply

Nuala Reilly

Pernicious bitch
Not because you’re bitches, but because it sounds really cool to say. :-)

Reply

Meredith

Yes, yes it does.

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John Jorgensen

2 Jills with No Jack

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Brittany

I have questions. Like…

HOW DID YOU GET A PICTURE OF ME PLAYING SOCCER?

Also, why do you hate the harmonica? I’m going to look awesome.

Reply

Meredith

Stop questioning my awesomeness.

Reply

Ali

1) Dixie Chicks had 3 girls.
2) I can teach you guitar.
3) I’d like to add that I’m excellent on the drums and add a killer 3rd harmony.

Reply

Meredith

You’re IN THE BAND!

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Mike Carroll

I’m going to have to ponder on this. How many names can I submit?

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Meredith

as many as you’d like.

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Audrey

30 Lbs of Ass. But that’s my band name. You can’t have it.

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Carrie Sautter

Outspoken
No Filter
Shameless
No Shame
(I guess I’m thinking about the type of lyrics you two would be writing!) lol

Reply

Doc

well if it’s all about fame

Fame Mongers
Wanna be’s
or the country sounding
The Tall Grass Girls

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Abby V

Sounds fun!
How about: Hell on Heels

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Adria

Laters, Baby.

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Mary Ann Dennis

Sister Wives
Coslopus Twins

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Kelli G.

How about “With the Band,” so when people ask you can say “We’re With the Band.” :)
Yeah, I didn’t think on that too long. It just popped in my head.

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Robin

Hot Shit? I mean you guys are hot shit….

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KellyW

Awesomesauce

That’s all i’ve got.

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Tina

Highly Inappropriate

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Tina

Gem and the Hotflashes??? OMG too soon but sooooo funny.

Reply

hdj

Viginajams

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Melissa

In staying with The Dixie Chicks, how about The Drunk Chicks. If you want to keep with the Ohio country thing it could be The Corn Chicks.

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Brooke

Beef curtains

there. done. Band named :) thk me later :)

Reply

Mandy_Fish

The Big Beaver Band

I live near a road called Big Beaver and I always felt it needed a band.

Also: I play the mandolin. You don’t get any more hillbilly than a beaver on the mandolin.

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Brittany

I’ll only do this if Mandy is in.

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Jamie Laybourn

I wanted to start a girl band before I popped out kids and got to chubby to be seen on stage. My name was gonna be….wait for it…wait for it..

“The Bearded Clams”

I dropped my dream…so you can have the name.
Merry Christmas

Jamie

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Viv R

Tits and Sass

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Heather

Crispy Green Beans
BaM

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Elaine A.

Jiff and the Choosy Mothers.

Although I think that one might already be taken. :)

Reply

Heather

PS I dont mean to brag, but I took that awesome pic!

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Kaleen

The Summer Complaint. Please Google it if you’ve never heard the phrase. :)

Reply

Kassy

The WineGinas!

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Nancy

My first thought was B.W.A. but if you are going country… The Folles Pardons.

Reply

Crystal

Brittany and the Soleau Cup

Meredith and the Barefoot

BGMS/MSBG

Outlandish

The Donna Martin Experience

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Stephanie

The Donna Marti Experience…LMAO!!! Love it!!

Reply

rachel

moist panties
or
the ohihoes

Reply

Stephanie

OMG! The Ohihoes…..genius!

Reply

amanda

the queefs

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rachel

one more!
hard limits

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SUZANNE

Swantucky Sweethearts

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Livia

Oh my god, I love this band already
I want to be in Ohio to come watch you guys now.
________________________________

Redneck Scrap And The Extreme Ginger

Written Tendency And The Puss

Thug Dumpster Of The Famous Bypass

Fancy Slit (It almost like saying vagina, and leaves people wondering)

Moose Of The Commission

Opera Fiasco At The Dive Bar

—————
Thats all I have right now.

Reply

Tina

“Big Fun” like as in from the movie The Heathers….they sing “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It)”

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Erica

I wish I could add something but really all of the ones ^ there are pretty freaking hilarious.

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Kate

Same here…

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Stephanie

Lady Parts
Butt Naked Bluegrass (always wanted a band of my own with that name. I play Clarinet too!)
The Menses
Aunt Flow’s Good Time Gals
PMDD
Clitonic

Reply

K

“Fifty Shades of Vanilla”

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Reagan

Barefoot Booties
Singing Soleau

I personally like the suggestion above “No Filter”

P.S.
You’ll have a lot of fun learning to play guitar…and there are a lot of youtube videos to help too.

Reply

April

Brittany and Meredith, Live.

(I mean, you don’t really need to pick this as a band name, but rather, this is my passive way of stating that I miss the podcast.)

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Rae Ann

Fancy Slit – Ohihoes – Wineginas…..ALL AWESOME.

I was thinking Wordsmith Sirens.

PS know that I spent the day yesterday with this in the back of my mind…..going to an appt….EZPass office….happy hour with the man….everything I’d hear, read or make viusual contact with was processed.

Reply

Christine

Hard Drinkin Housewives

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Rae Ann

Congrats Crystal, however….what exactly IS the “Donna Martin Experience”? I’m thinking it refers to comething real.

Reply

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