Now that it’s out in the open that I’m on a mission of self-indulging happiness, I can freely share my insane thoughts with you.
Okay, so I really miss singing. And truly, I think that was supposed to be my fame calling, but I went to college instead. Which? Was probably a good idea. Especially since I have an addictive personality, and I would most likely be a total druggie or alcoholic right now, had I not gone to college. And all of my songs would probably be about one night stands.
Anyway, I regret letting the musical side of me go.
I think playing an instrument is completely awesome, and I’m instantly jealous of anyone on a stage, even at a local dive bar, who has an instrument in their hand. I can play the clarinet. Which is super dorky. So I need to learn to play something cooler, like a guitar.
I want to start a girl band. I want to sing and play guitar at the same time. I want to be the next Dixie Chicks.
Naturally, I called my totally insane counterpart, to pitch the idea to her. She and I already have a singing history together. As we both scored leads in our high school’s musicals.
Which? Is yet another sign this girl band is meant to be.
Brittany, want to be in my girl band?
YES!
Wow. You didn’t even hesitate. I’m going to find someone to give me guitar lessons. You need to learn to play an instrument to be legit. Otherwise, we’ll just look like assholes who can only produce music in a studio.
Fiddle.
That’s what I was thinking of for you!
Or maybe banjo?
Sure!
Or harmonica? Yeah, Meredith, I’m feeling the harmonica because I can just make that shit up. I’ll be like Neil Young.
Seems spitty and unsexy. No harmonica. Plus, you’d have to wear one of those boob harmonica holders.
No, I wouldn’t. The holders are only if you play another instrument. My instrument is going to be just a harmonica, so I’ll hold it in my hand. Otherwise my hands have nothing to do, and I’ll just be awkwardly waving them around on stage.
No, dude. If you pick harmonica, you for sure have to put on the boob holder on, and you get hand dance moves, simply because you’re the asshat that picked harmonica.
I want to sing all the low parts, and I know you’re going to try to take the low parts from me.
I’ll sing the high stuff, that just means I get more solo time.
What kind of music are we singing?
Country. Duh.
Um? No, Meredith. I am not starting a country band.
Too late, Brittany Gibbons! You already said you were in, and this was my idea!
Fine.
We already have a potential album cover (YET ANOTHER SIGN!):
We’re totally taking this act on the road. Or at least into my garage.
And since she used to play soccer, and I was a cheerleader, our girl band is going to kick some balls and be super upbeat!
And as soon as we learn a song, we’re going to put it on YouTube.
There’s just one thing missing. Well, two things.
1. We need to find someone to give us guitar/harmonica/banjo lessons in the greater Toledo, Ohio area.
2. We don’t have a band name.
I’m personally giving away at $25 iTunes gift card to the person who names our girl band! Just leave your comment below! Come up with as many names as you’d like! Thanks for your help!
The girl-band-naming-contest runs through 11:59pm tomorrow (Tuesday, October 2, 2012).
I’m picking the name and paying for your gift card. So be creative!
Good luck!







{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
Beatbox Vagina
GOOD ONE! You know how I LOVE the word “vagina”!
I tried to name my wireless network Boombox Vagina, but my husband is a prude and would not let me. When I saw your post I knew I just had to submit my idea. I figured Beatbox fit better, not sure why.
Quarter Life Crisis!
Life’s Crazy Joke (branding is already out there) or 2 Hip Chicks.
John, Life’s Crazy Joke is exactly the stupid name I’m talking about.
Bad Girls Have All The Fun?
Also, I think you’re missing the take on instruments. Instead of learning a new instrument, it’s up to you to make the clarinet cool!
Since Brittany changed the name of her blog, why not base it off the name she used previously? The Barefoot Foodies. It’s catchy.
Pernicious bitch
Not because you’re bitches, but because it sounds really cool to say.
Yes, yes it does.
2 Jills with No Jack
I have questions. Like…
HOW DID YOU GET A PICTURE OF ME PLAYING SOCCER?
Also, why do you hate the harmonica? I’m going to look awesome.
Stop questioning my awesomeness.
1) Dixie Chicks had 3 girls.
2) I can teach you guitar.
3) I’d like to add that I’m excellent on the drums and add a killer 3rd harmony.
You’re IN THE BAND!
I’m going to have to ponder on this. How many names can I submit?
as many as you’d like.
30 Lbs of Ass. But that’s my band name. You can’t have it.
Outspoken
No Filter
Shameless
No Shame
(I guess I’m thinking about the type of lyrics you two would be writing!) lol
well if it’s all about fame
Fame Mongers
Wanna be’s
or the country sounding
The Tall Grass Girls
Sounds fun!
How about: Hell on Heels
Laters, Baby.
Sister Wives
Coslopus Twins
How about “With the Band,” so when people ask you can say “We’re With the Band.”
Yeah, I didn’t think on that too long. It just popped in my head.
Hot Shit? I mean you guys are hot shit….
Awesomesauce
That’s all i’ve got.
Highly Inappropriate
Gem and the Hotflashes??? OMG too soon but sooooo funny.
Viginajams
In staying with The Dixie Chicks, how about The Drunk Chicks. If you want to keep with the Ohio country thing it could be The Corn Chicks.
Beef curtains
there. done. Band named
thk me later
The Big Beaver Band
I live near a road called Big Beaver and I always felt it needed a band.
Also: I play the mandolin. You don’t get any more hillbilly than a beaver on the mandolin.
I’ll only do this if Mandy is in.
I wanted to start a girl band before I popped out kids and got to chubby to be seen on stage. My name was gonna be….wait for it…wait for it..
“The Bearded Clams”
I dropped my dream…so you can have the name.
Merry Christmas
Jamie
Tits and Sass
Crispy Green Beans
BaM
Jiff and the Choosy Mothers.
Although I think that one might already be taken.
PS I dont mean to brag, but I took that awesome pic!
The Summer Complaint. Please Google it if you’ve never heard the phrase.
The WineGinas!
My first thought was B.W.A. but if you are going country… The Folles Pardons.
Brittany and the Soleau Cup
Meredith and the Barefoot
BGMS/MSBG
Outlandish
The Donna Martin Experience
The Donna Marti Experience…LMAO!!! Love it!!
moist panties
or
the ohihoes
OMG! The Ohihoes…..genius!
the queefs
one more!
hard limits
Swantucky Sweethearts
Oh my god, I love this band already
I want to be in Ohio to come watch you guys now.
________________________________
Redneck Scrap And The Extreme Ginger
Written Tendency And The Puss
Thug Dumpster Of The Famous Bypass
Fancy Slit (It almost like saying vagina, and leaves people wondering)
Moose Of The Commission
Opera Fiasco At The Dive Bar
—————
Thats all I have right now.
“Big Fun” like as in from the movie The Heathers….they sing “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It)”
I wish I could add something but really all of the ones ^ there are pretty freaking hilarious.
Same here…
Lady Parts
Butt Naked Bluegrass (always wanted a band of my own with that name. I play Clarinet too!)
The Menses
Aunt Flow’s Good Time Gals
PMDD
Clitonic
“Fifty Shades of Vanilla”
Barefoot Booties
Singing Soleau
I personally like the suggestion above “No Filter”
P.S.
You’ll have a lot of fun learning to play guitar…and there are a lot of youtube videos to help too.
Brittany and Meredith, Live.
(I mean, you don’t really need to pick this as a band name, but rather, this is my passive way of stating that I miss the podcast.)
Fancy Slit – Ohihoes – Wineginas…..ALL AWESOME.
I was thinking Wordsmith Sirens.
PS know that I spent the day yesterday with this in the back of my mind…..going to an appt….EZPass office….happy hour with the man….everything I’d hear, read or make viusual contact with was processed.
Hard Drinkin Housewives
Congrats Crystal, however….what exactly IS the “Donna Martin Experience”? I’m thinking it refers to comething real.
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