Socks is a weird word, right?
Say it five times fast.
Socks, socks, socks, socks, socks…
Today my boss is wearing Santa Claus socks.
He’s super annoyed with me right now, and he won’t even let me take a picture of them. But don’t worry! I totally found them online.
Are those? Are those Santas on your socks?
Are you in a giving mood today?
No, I’m wearing them because our sock pile is huge, and I can never find matching socks. But these socks are easy to match up, so I seem to always be wearing them.
You have a sock problem. We used to have a sock problem. And then I fixed it.
Why are we talking about socks?
Because you have Santas on your feet.
If you have a giant sock pile, here is what you need to do:
1. Throw all of your socks away.
2. Start over.
3. From this day forward, you will buy socks that are all the same.
I threw all of Shaun’s socks away, and now he gets bags of socks that are all the same.
Hanes makes black socks, and he wears those ones to work. Hanes also makes white athletic socks, and he wears those when he’s not at work. Finally, Hanes makes the ankle kind of socks, and he wears those when he’s golfing.
When one sock gets a hole in the big toe, I throw that one sock away. And when he needs more socks, I go buy more bags of the same kind of socks.
All of the socks match. BOOM. I am a domestic diva.
[read: that's a lie, and this is basically the only domestic thing I will ever share with you]
I hardly ever wear socks. So I don’t have this issue. I think it’s a man-thing.
You’re welcome, Boss Man. You’re welcome, Internet.