Our Laminated Lists

by Meredith on October 25, 2011

An actual conversation between Shaun and I while watching Horrible Bosses:

Jason Bateman is so hot in this movie.  I’m putting him on my list.

What list?

Shaun.  Are you being serious?  You know, that list of celebrities I’m allowed to have sex with, and it doesn’t count as cheating on you.

I want a list.

You didn’t even know about a list.  So now you don’t get one.

Oh, I get a list, Meredith.  You have  a list.  I get a list.

Fine.  But I want to know right now who is on your list.  There can be no confusion about the list.

How many do I get?

5.

How many do you get?

10.

Why do you get more?

Fine.  I’ll take 5 as well.

Shaun’s List:

Mila Kunis

Britney Spears

Riahnna

Bridgette from Playboy

Reese Witherspoon

Okay, I admit it.  I intentionally picked unflattering pictures of these women to keep my brain in tact. You all know I’m insanely jealous.

But now I need your help.  My list always is changing, and Shaun wants me to write it down.  He also wants there to be no mistake about the list.

So far, I have Jason Bateman.

I would do very, very bad things to Jason Bateman.  Very bad things, ladies.   His dry and witty humor is spot-on, and he is dreamy.

UPDATE:  After only a few hours of having this post live, a reader reminded me of my undying lust for Eric the Vampire (Alexander Skarsgard).  I would also do very, very bad things to Eric the Vampire.  So now I have two people on my list.

Who should I have on my laminated list?  Who is on yours?  I need three more.  I’m sure you can see why this is a big deal.  I need your help.

{ 98 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike Carroll

My wife has Brett Favre at the top of her list.

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Meredith

He seems sort of… well, old.

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bellawriter (Nuala Reilly)

DO NOT LAMINATE!!
Mere!
My list is never laminated because I have told my Shawn that I reserve the right to rotate men on and off the list just in case something like Ben Affleck’s hair happens to them. And no, Ben is not on my list.
Currently it’s Mike Rowe, Gerard Butler, Antonio Banderas, Jason Bateman and Dermot Mulroney (from The Wedding Date – shower scene….yumm)
You’re welcome.

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Untypically Jia

Brilliant choice with Mike Rowe! I love me a dirty man hehe.

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bellawriter (Nuala Reilly)

Me too. And that picture of Britany Spears makes me feel soooo good about myself.

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Untypically Jia

The picture of Brittany Spears could make anyone feel good about themselves.

Except probably Lindsay Lohan.

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Meredith

MIKE ROWE?! He probably smells like poop and dirt. Get him off of your list.

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bellawriter (Nuala Reilly)

I can forgive him for that because I saw the episode where he showered and there was only a teeny bit of towel covering up his cash and prizes, I saw everything else and it was goooood!

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bellawriter (Nuala Reilly)

As long as he cuts his fingernails first, because those are really hard to clean.

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Untypically Jia

He smells like sweat and hard work! I’d take him any day (after a shower).

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Tracey

I agree, do not laminate…as women, we reserve the right to change our minds as soon as a gross picture is released or they do something stupid…they are men, it will happen! Here’s my list in no particular order:
Chris O’Donnell
Gerard Butler
Boris Kodjoe
Orlando Bloom
David Beckham

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Meredith

Just Googled Boris. He made me tingle. Thanks for that.

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Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]

I have my list laminated, but I want to switch out Nake Berkus for Adam Lambert. I feel like I should just make a slot for “My Favorite Gay Of The Moment.” http://awholelotofnothing.net/my-laminated-list/

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Adria

Adam Lambert is on mine too! Oh and Jaret Reddick.

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Jennifer Ankney

Here’s my list…my husband has had Kate Hudson, Natalie Portman, Reese Witherspoon, and Carrie Underwood on his lately…mine also changes with time, although this has been it for over a year now….David Duchovny, Ian Somerhalder, Chris Noth, Timothy Olyphant, Josh Duhamel, David Anders, and Johnny Depp. In no particular order…..

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Meredith

Holy shit. Ian = Dreamy

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Jenna

Agreed, no laminating allowed. Bad looks can happen to good men and we reserve the right to eliminate them from the list. Every guy is one bad shave away from the chopping block. I would recommend adding the Ryan’s…..Gosling and Reynolds. I would also do very dirty things to Jason Bateman, but my number one will always be Jake Gyllenhall………yummmy =)

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Untypically Jia

I think Ryan Reynolds should be a freebie cause he’s on almost everyone’s lists.

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Meredith

Total freebie. Like, if we see him, we get to take turns raping him.

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Untypically Jia

Reminds me of a certain True Blood episode from last season lol

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bellawriter (Nuala Reilly)

On a side bar note, didn’t it freak you out to see Jennifer Anniston being all super dirty and saying things like ‘pussy’ in that movie? I mean, I loved the movie but every time she said something like that, my inner voice was all “Rachel…noooooo”.

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DogsOnDrugs.com

Hey, some of us loved it.

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Meredith

I sort of loved it.

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Crystal Case

Mine is always changing too but there are two that are always at the top….Channing Tatum and Ryan Reynolds. The secret list of two would be the only one EVER laminated!

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Meredith

Channing? Really?

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kelsey

Ryan Gosling. But you can’t put him on your list because I would be insanely jealous if you ever did actually have sex with him, and I don’t want to have to hurt you. I’ll let you have Russel Brand though.

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Meredith

I won’t put him on the list since EVERYONE in this comment section wants to do him. Now he just seems slutty.

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Roxie

Top of my list is Robert Downey Jr.

Johnny Depp.
Gerard Butler.
Ryan Reynolds.

I will have to come up with a 5th.

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Untypically Jia

OMG Totally forgot about RDJ!

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Roxie

Oh yeah. Alex Skarsgard. That rounds out my 5!

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Mackenzie

Robert Downey Jr (bad boy does good), Ed Norton (good boys gone bad), Tatum Channing (bad boys stay bad). The End.

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Meredith

Ooooo! ED NORTON! Yummy! He is going t o be #3! Thanks for that one!

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angi

After not even KNOWING about the list, it didn’t take him long to come up with his 5, did it? Boys…I don’t even know who’s on my list. Except David Borneaz, David Beckham, Ryan Reynolds, Colin Firth, and Shemar Moore. Ok, I guess maybe I DO know my list.

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Selina

My 5, not laminated, in no particular order:
Johnny Depp
Benicio Del Toro
Anthony Bourdain
Robert Downey Jr.
Olivier Martinez
List subject to change at any given moment.

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Vanessa

Josh Holloway
Chad Kroeger
Taylor Lautner (now that he’s legal right?)
Joe Manganeillo

Will have to think on a 5th. Funny I can totally see my “type” in these. Scruffy men turn me on! :)

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CLEgal @ Why CLE?

Ryan Gosling! Just saw “Crazy Stupid Love” over the weekend and there can be no omitting this man from any list.

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Melissa

Agreed! I will never forget him taking his shirt off in that movie. I’ve been in love ever since.

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buttah

Paul Rudd is always at the top of my list…totally adorable and fucking hillarious…what’s not to love about him!! The rest of my list changes quite a bit. Jesse James used be on my list till he went and cheated on my friend Sandy…tsk tsk. No dirty boys allowed!! Dane Cook has been on and off of my list too, again…adorable and funny!! Channing Tatum of course, and Dermot Mulroney…OH and Jason Statham. See…always changing!!

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Untypically Jia

OMG Paul Rudd!

Seriously just reading everyone elses’ lists is making me think I need to make mine a full 10!

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Meghan

Oh Ryan Reynolds and Gerard Butler have been on my list for years.

The fact Ryan wrote about his nipples bleeding to fundraise for when he ran the marathon in NYC to help raise money for Parkinson’s awareness…. that brings me happiness to my special place.

Add in Gerard Butler as the Irish musician in “PS I Love You”, and dancing in a leather jacket and boxers….

Ok, I’m in overload. Must go now.

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Jessica

Ok, so first of all, Gerard Butler. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. And then as much as I hate to admit this…and he is only like 14…Taylor Lautner, the kid from Twilight. Holy crap does he get me hot.

And then the Ryans, Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds. I want both.

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Vanessa

Well Jessica, Taylor is now like 19 I believe! :) So totally legal. He’s on my list too!

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Jessica

Oh! And I forgot, Channing Tatum. My list has 6. Channing also went to high school with my husband…so it’s all 1 degree closer and that much more possible.

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Katie

Alex O’Loughlin and Daniel Craig are the only two I can think of right now. Look Alex up and when you find him – preferably shirtless – you will thank me for the introduction.

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Kate D.

Oh Alex, so pretty :)

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Meredith

He’s pretty gross.

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Teala

First off, I love that you picked the worst possible pictures of those women! Ha!

My list: Clive Owen, Gerard Butler, James McAvoy, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, and Chris Hemsworth.

Yes, I have a thing for men of the British Empire.

Jude Law, Colin Firth, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Hugh Jackman would be on the list if I could have 10.

Oh. My. Day-um. I’m salivating right now. At work. Must stop.

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Kate D.

Ryan gosling…especially after seeing him in that movie I cannot think of with Steve Carrell
Ryan Reynolds
Jake Gyllenhall
Josh Hartnett…Pearl Harbor Josh
Ben Affleck

List subject to change without notice…

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Meredith

“List subject to change without notice.”

This will be the disclaimer at the bottom of mine as well.

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Joy

OMG Jake Gyllenhall is at the top of my list. I will fight for him lol!

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Tahna

This list is subject to change!!

Joe Mangianello – cannot get enough of him and his incredible butt

Robert Pattinson – only if he’s dressed as Edward

Ryan Reynolds – hilarious, hot and Canadian. Perfect combo.

Raoul Bova – that hot guy that tells Diane Lane ‘I want to make love all over your body’ in Under the Tuscan Sun. Yes please!

Kid Rock – my secret shame celebrity crush. My friends make fun of me. There’s just something about him I find hot – in a greasy, rap/rocker, bad-boy kind of way. I mean, getting into a fight in a Waffle House is kind of hot no?

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Meredith

Kid Rock? He’ll give you the Aids. Just sayin’.

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Fallon

My list, unlaminated, in no particular order:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Ryan Reynolds
Ryan Gosling
Justin Timberlake
Matt Lewis
Tom Felton
Alexander Ludwig…Google him. For your soul.
So that was more than 5, but I’m only 18 and extremely unattached so it’s ok. Right? Good. Also, my best friend and I refer to this list as the people who have unlimited all-access passes to our pants.

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Melissa

Ryan Gosling is at the top of my list. I’m happy just having him and nobody else actually. He took his shirt off in Crazy, Stupid Love and I couldn’t help but gasp and admire his beautiful body. I told my boyfriend if he can watch girls play college volleyball (we bot h watch together)wearing teeny tiny shorts I can be in love with Ryan Gosling.

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Meredith

I’m reporting you for Alexander Ludwig. He’s, like, 12.

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Meredith

Okay, just saw that you’re 18. You can love him. I take it back.

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buttah

I do love me some Justin Timberlake too!! Yummaaayyyy!!!

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chrisinphx

Meredith, is Mike Rowe on your list? He takes 2 places on mine, Ima need some time to complete everything he needs done to him.

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Meredith

I don’t like dirt.

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anne | the white words

Johnny Depp
David Beckham
Tae Diggs

btw, I find it SO GROSS that your husband has Brittany Spears on his list! :-) Kind of like when my (not yet husband as a boyfriend) thought Nancy Kerrigan (the ice skater) was hot. Blech. :-)

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Meredith

TAE DIGGS! NUMBER 4 ON MY LIST! Thanks for that!

Nancy? HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Crystal

I have one person on my list and its laminated and bronzed. Vince Mother F-in Vaughn.

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Meredith

Ooo, he’s a good one. I love funny men.

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Catherine

It’s hard to narrow it down to five, but let me try – Ewan McGregor, Johnny Depp, Billy Zane, Seth Green, and Timothy Olyphant

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mari

if i had a list this would be it…
brad pitt
johnny depp
justin timberlake
ryan reynolds
david beckham

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mari

also if you like jason bateman you would probably be into nathan fillion…

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Meredith

Nathan is trying too hard to be like my boy, Jason.

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Christine

All I have to say is good thing it’s laminated because you can Visa-Vis that shit and edit it ;D

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Jen

There is one man on my list… Johnny Depp.

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Untypically Jia

Okay seriously, does your husband want to catch something? Ew on at least two of his picks. My husband picked Anne Hathaway, and I’m okay with that.

Also, very good choice with Alexander. He’s yummy in a naughty way. Nathan Fillion however is at the TOP of my list. Every year for Christmas I ask for him naked and painted gold. Not sure why the gold.

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Untypically Jia

Okay so here’s my list (edited after reading some of yours) – and these are numbered but in no particular order.

1. Nathan Fillion
2. Alexander Skarsgard
3. Randy Orton (from the WWE)
4. Shawn Michaels (from the WWE)
5. Triple H (from the WWE)
6. John Cena (from the WWE)

.. Yes I have a thing for wrestlers. They’re all . . . shiny.

7. Ryan Reynolds
8. Robert Downey Jr
9. Mickey Rourke (I don’t care what anyone else says)
10. Jeff Bridges (The Dude abides)

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Meredith

Wait. Weren’t you making fun of Shaun’s picks up there in the comments, Miss WWE? Hahahaha! Love it!

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Untypically Jia

They’re shiny. :)

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Kelsey B

1. Ryan Reynolds
2. Alexander Skarsgard
3. John Krasinski
4. Steve Carrell (Dan in real life totally did it for me.)
5. Rachel McAdams – or does women we’d go gay for get it’s own list?

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buttah

I think women we’d go gay for should totally get it’s own list…Meredith, topic for another blog, yes??

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Christy S.

Agreed. Women we’d go gay for is a whole other (exciting!) topic.

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Meghan

What? No Captain America?? Chris Evans’ ass looks so good in his uniform – I just want to bite it (and yes, I mean his ass).

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Kerri

OMG Daniel Craig!!! DANIEL CRAIG I am not going to share whats happening to my body at the moment…. hmmm… never mind…. awww… Great post!

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West_Starlight

Jason Bateman and I have had a crush going on since he started acting. He just doesn’t happen to be aware of it.
In no particular order;
Jason
Robert Downey JR. oh so yummy
Jonny Depp of course
Hugh Laurie I am sorry but when he speaks with his real accent ….sigh. I’d play Dr with him.
Ryan Gosling Just because
This guy I saw in the grocery store twice.

Dream on right?

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Amanda @ Tales of an Amateur Mommy

I need to work on my last two, but definitely:
1) Christian Bale– crazy I’ve heard, but who cares, I’m just screwing him.
2) Robert Downey Jr. Yum. O.
3) LL Cool J… No matter how old he gets, he never looks old, always looks ripped, and I seriously want to drop my panties every time I see him. When he appeared on Sesame Street? I thought I was going to orgasm right in the middle of the living room. In front of my daughter.

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April

Ryan Gosling is from the city where I live and I have more than one friend who wishes she hadn’t snubbed him when he was a geeky shy guy. I’ve seen his yearbook pics and he has definitely gotten better looking with age!

Only 1 on my list since I was 12 – Lenny hotness Kravitz. My husband gets jealous even when his music comes on the radio because he knows Lenny will always be my first love.

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Lisa

I have rockers on my list! Jon Bon Jovi-he only gets better looking with age!
Keith Urban-love the australians
Adam Lambert-don’t care that he’s gay
And Robert Pattinson-and I agree,only if he was all sparkly, like Edward.
And my last pick is Michael Easton-plays John McBain on One Life to Live, I’ve had lots of fantasies about him. Its his eyes!

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Corinne

Ryan Reynolds – I think I literally drool looking at him
Ryan Gosling – ditto
Christian Bale – love his lisp thing
T.I. – those lips
Zac Brown – there’s just something about him

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Daniela

- Ryan Reynolds (girls, you can’t all have him, so leave him to me!!)

- Jude Law (Oh I love his British accent!)

- Matthew McConaughey (the “Wedding Planner”-Matthew, please)

- Robbie Williams (the British singer, *sigh*)

- Ryan Gosling

Oh, I might have a thing for guys whose first name starts with “R”… Interesting…

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Daniela

*edit:

- Zac Efron (not the HSM one, the real man please)

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Pam

I feel like we’re all missing out on Jason Aldean and his sexiness. My boss and I were arguing over him one night at work.

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Deborah

Top on my list is James Spader……he does something to my loins
From there I’ll do Ryan Hurst from SOA…OMG!!!
Clive Owen is sexy as hell (Loved him in Closer
Kevin McKidd lusciousness!
Brad Pitt – he will always be on my list

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mamaschinsky

I was going to write about this tonight! But now I guess I won’t.
My husband and I fought over this about a week ago. It wasn’t pretty.

I agree with everyone else, DO NOT LAMINATE. Mine changes all the time, but the guy at the top is going to be there for a LONG TIME. And I’m probably making myself look stupidly young (he’s 27), but it’s Patrick Stump. He was the guy I talked about in that one post about meeting you and Brittany. Lead singer of Fall Out Boy who recently went solo and lost 65 lbs. Dear God, I’d let him do anything to me. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

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Adria

Just thought of another one! Bob Harper. YUM.

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Adria

Who, me? I’m not still thinking about this two days later…

Jon Stewart. I would totally bone Jon Stewart.

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Andrea

I can’t believe only two people mentioned Christian Bale on their list, nuts or not. And Colin Firth. I guess I have a thing for the Brits. And as long as we’re going there, what about Prince Harry?

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Christy S.

I scanned all the other comments and can’t believe no one else mentioned my next husband, Colin Farrell. Mmmmmmm. So hot. I love that dirty Irish bad boy.
Also, Brad Pitt, but only in Fight Club. And Russell Crowe, but only in Gladiator.
Ryan Reynolds and Taylor Lautner….a given. You get those for free, like a bonus with purchase, because everyone likes them.

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Shaun

She left out an important part of the Spears pick…I specifically stated Britney over 18 and pre-kids, skip the bald head, umbrella, barefoot bathroom, and Georgia car seat years, resume at her current condition.

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Nancy [Spinning My Plates]

LL Cool J. Because DUDE. The abs!

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Kerrey

Ryan Reynolds and Shemar Moore, and I’m in the middle of the sandwich… Mmmmm…

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Joy

1. Jake Gyllenhal
2. Jared Leto – inside my head he is not gay
3. Zac Efron -I have a thing for the eyes obvioulsy
4. Joe Maganiello – True Blood please hurry back
5. Jared Padalecki
6. Jensen Ackles – Look 5 & 6 up delicious!

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Derek

The temptation to chip in my list is too great, seeing as how no other guys (except Shaun) are represented here. Can’t tell how recently this comment thread has been active, so if nobody ends up reading this I guess at least I won’t get a lot of crap about my taste in women… whatever.

I’d link to pics of them, but that’d probably get this flagged as spam.

- Hope Solo
- Kelly Macdonald
- Judy Greer
- Paz Vega
- Lizzy Caplan

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Bri

Jeremy Northam
Ryan Reynolds
Hugh Jackman
Sendhil Ramamurthy
Michael Vartan

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