Okay, so every person I see, I am telling them about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
My husband and boss think I’ve officially lost my mind. But dudes, I learned so much about history reading this book.
For example, did you know that Mary Todd (married to Abe) was not his first choice? She wasn’t. His first love was actually Ann Rutledge. And of course, she was killed by a vampire.
I’m not sure if you saw the show on Animal Planet about mermaids, but I didn’t sleep for a week. As it turns out, the US Navy has totally covered up the fact that when they test these sonic booms in the ocean, and they beach whales, they’ve also beached mermaids. And then they keep the mermaids in tanks until they die. Scientists have seen them, and so has some kid on a beach (who captured it all on his cell phone).
So do vampires.
Did you also know that Ulysses S. Grant was supposed to go to Ford Theater, that fateful night, with Abe Lincoln? He bailed on Abe, and some other guy went (I forget his name) who was stabbed. My! How history could have changed!
But I digress.
The premise of the story is that Lincoln’s dad had some outstanding debt that he could not pay to a vampire. The vampire began plucking off his family, one by one, which, according to history, is accurate (there was a lot of typhoid fever death in Lincoln’s life).
The vampire would give the family members enough vampire blood to simply make them sick, but not enough to turn them into vampires. The doctors of the day would diagnose them all with typhoid fever and then they’d die.
As a result, Abe has a personal vedetta against the vampires, and he decides to kill them all. Welcome to the Civil War. It wasn’t that he hated slavery. It was that he hated slaves being fed to vampires, thus making it easier for them to survive.
Maybe Honest Abe wasn’t so honest after all? Next thing you know, he’ll be taking on Chuck Norris in a rap battle. You know, since he’s still around these days as a vampire himself.
And mermaids are real. I don’t care what you say.
I read the book through my Kindle application. I *believe* this means I can loan it to one person. If you want to borrow it, just comment with your Kindle ID.
So what did you think? Did you like the book? Are you going to see the movie this weekend?