Okay, so every person I see, I am telling them about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
My husband and boss think I’ve officially lost my mind. But dudes, I learned so much about history reading this book.
For example, did you know that Mary Todd (married to Abe) was not his first choice? She wasn’t. His first love was actually Ann Rutledge. And of course, she was killed by a vampire.
Vampires exist.
Mermaids exist.
I’m not sure if you saw the show on Animal Planet about mermaids, but I didn’t sleep for a week. As it turns out, the US Navy has totally covered up the fact that when they test these sonic booms in the ocean, and they beach whales, they’ve also beached mermaids. And then they keep the mermaids in tanks until they die. Scientists have seen them, and so has some kid on a beach (who captured it all on his cell phone).
Mermaids exist.
So do vampires.
Did you also know that Ulysses S. Grant was supposed to go to Ford Theater, that fateful night, with Abe Lincoln? He bailed on Abe, and some other guy went (I forget his name) who was stabbed. My! How history could have changed!
But I digress.
The premise of the story is that Lincoln’s dad had some outstanding debt that he could not pay to a vampire. The vampire began plucking off his family, one by one, which, according to history, is accurate (there was a lot of typhoid fever death in Lincoln’s life).
The vampire would give the family members enough vampire blood to simply make them sick, but not enough to turn them into vampires. The doctors of the day would diagnose them all with typhoid fever and then they’d die.
As a result, Abe has a personal vedetta against the vampires, and he decides to kill them all. Welcome to the Civil War. It wasn’t that he hated slavery. It was that he hated slaves being fed to vampires, thus making it easier for them to survive.
Maybe Honest Abe wasn’t so honest after all? Next thing you know, he’ll be taking on Chuck Norris in a rap battle. You know, since he’s still around these days as a vampire himself.
And mermaids are real. I don’t care what you say.
I read the book through my Kindle application. I *believe* this means I can loan it to one person. If you want to borrow it, just comment with your Kindle ID.
So what did you think? Did you like the book? Are you going to see the movie this weekend?
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m finally delurking to comment. (You are hilarious, beeteedubs. I literally spit wine out while laughing once, and that’s a big deal since wine is a precious commodity around here.)
My nerd fiance went to the midnight showing of the movie adaptation last night. I would have gone, too, but I didn’t want the movie to spoil the book. I haven’t had a chance to read it yet, and I would totally love you forever if you would loan it to me. PS, your hair is totally great. And stuff.
And I forgot to leave my Kindle ID, of course. It’s the same as my e-mail address. I think you can see that, but here it is anyway: chelsie_reeves@yahoo.com.
Okay, I am going to try to figure out how to do this. So bear with me. It may take some emails to you to get it done.
I started reading based on your recommendation and I’m so glad I did! I wouldn’t have picked this up on my own. It was written in such a way that I had no trouble believing the whole vampire thing!
I had every intention of looking to see if the details were true but my laziness got in the way. So thanks for doing the leg work for me
My husband thought I was crazy when I was going on about what the civil war was REALLY about!
Samesies! I would have NEVER read this book had my friends not read it first.
Oh, and the Kindle app allows you to highlight words and check them in Wikepedia. Don’t give me too much credit. I am lazy as well.
I love love loved this book. I think I read a review on another blog about it and thats why I picked it up, but I’m not positive. I can’t wait to see the movie. I also think I’m going to pick up the authors other book, pride and prejudice and zombies, because then I might actually make it through pride and prejudice!
I want to read this book so bad! It would be perfect material on the way to SHRM12 this weekend. My Kindle ID is emily dot k dot rodgers @ gmail dot com
just in case you do a contest or something to pick a loaner winner, my kindle ID is farrarfoley@gmail.com
I thought the book was good, but not as good as I was expecting. I’d probably give this 3.5 stars out of 5. I enjoyed the fun twist on history; however the writing was too choppy for my taste. When I read, I want to be entertained. Unfortunately this book read more like a history book than a novel and as such it was hard to get pulled in. It was not a book that I rushed back to every chance I could (like I did with 50 Shades!). Abe portrayed as a ruthless vampire killer was bad-ass though! I will go check out the movie and I suspect it will be better than the book (which is usually never the case).
It could use some hot Abe Lincoln sex. I agree.
TV time out:
A) I NEED LINKS TO THIS MERMAID INFO! and,
B) I can actually legally let my sister read all my books??? How does this work?! OMG!
My mind is blown. On all accounts.