Yesterday I let it slip. I am going to New York City this week to be a guest on Katie Couric’s talk show. The show is taped, so I don’t know when it will air yet. More to come on that.
It’s not what you think.
I will not be talking about HR, and it’s not about social media either. The subject is raw and unrehearsed for me, and I AM FREAKING OUT BECAUSE OF IT!
I’m going to talk about being the Mark Wahlberg of the Internet. Mark Wahlberg has three nipples. Did you know that? Weird medical condition, right?
I don’t have three nipples. However, I do have oddly large areolas. But that isn’t what I am talking about either. As a matter of fact, my mother has threatened to kill me if I say “vagina” or “sex toy” at any point. I really believe she is being serious about this. So most likely, talking about my giant areolas, is off the table, too.
Meredith, is this going to be like the last time you were on national television? Because people from church were watching and now they all know you have hidden sex toys in your house. And then there was the time you said, at an HR conference, with 400 people in the room at that… Oh, I am just soooo embarrassed, I can barely say it…
Mom, the word is “vagina”. You have one. Repeat after me, “VA-GI-NA”. And I was talking about social transparency, and the timing of the joke was impeccable.
Meredith! Stop it! Don’t be funny when you go there. I will kill you this time. Just… Just… JUST REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!
Fine, Mom. I will refer to it as my ham wallet from here forward.
MEREDITH DANIELLE! I AM HANGING UP!
For those of you who have followed me for some period of time, you know that my brain is broken in a totally intelligent (and sometimes socially overbearing) kind of impulsive way. You also know that the diagnoses of the brain breakage came as a huge relief since I thought I was going insane. Like, totally. insane. in. the. membrane.
I was all over the darn place… for a minute… and I cou… fe… fkjdlfoi e… huh… that’s weird my brain… what… I love lamp… must do dishes… so many… testing… Ooo! Shiny!
Click PLAY to see my thought patterns.
My follow up sucked at work, I was forgetting ALL THE THINGS, I felt really cloudy and annoyed with people all the time, and I wasn’t super sure about what I wanted to be when I grew up anymore, BUT I WAS ALREADY A GROWN UP WITH A JOB I LOVED!
Anyway, I broke down in my doctor’s office, and between big-heaping-snotty-ugly-cry sobs, I told him I thought I had some sort of mental health issue. He dismissed me, told me I just had a stressful job, and I needed to suck it up.
This particular doctor (ermahgerd every fiber of my being wants to name drop right now), always made me feel terrible about myself.
Not liking feeling bad about myself, I switched doctors. Switching doctors has proven to be one of the best decisions of my life.
I told New Doctor I thought my brain was broken. I told him with each pregnancy, it seemed to break a little more.
He listened to me, he didn’t rush me, and he didn’t make a face that looked like he had just ate a fart when I began crying. I was truly embarrassed to talk about my broken brain to anyone other than my husband. So to have this man take his time, and really hear me out… it was… simply put… amazing.
At the end of my rant, he had me take a test. And by test, I mean this baby was about 30 pages, and the questions ranged from super strange to OMG THAT IS SO ME!
As it turns out, I scored, in New Doctor’s words, “off the charts with ADD”.
He put me on Adderall and is trying to fix my brain. We talk every month, he monitors how I’m doing, makes adjustments to my meds (I am now taking the little kid dosage since the extended release made me an insomniac), and he never ever makes me feel like a weirdo.
So anyway, I am going on Katie’s show to talk about my journey with ADD and how Adderall has helped me.
Yes, my brain is broken, but with medication, I am a lot less cloudy and a lot less annoyed with people (probably key for a career in Human Resources). But I suppose having three kids, a husband, and four hundred jobs can break a girl’s brain. Oh, and I am certain my brain has always been broken, I was just able to hone in on things better when I didn’t have so much clutter in my life.
I know they are going to ask me about Adderall and drug abuse. I am going in with all guns-a-blazing. Not all people who take Adderall abuse the drug. Some of us actually need it.
The mental health stigma has got to go. Ultimately, I hope I can make a little difference in how people view mental health issues. I’ve accepted her invitation to be a guest on the show because I want others to know that we all have our health issues. Sometimes those issues are wonky livers, sometimes those issues are wonky hearts, sometimes those issues are wonky lungs, sometimes those issues are wonky blood cells, and sometimes those issues are wonky brains.
My name is Meredith, and I have a wonky brain.
I’ll let you all know when it airs!
Thank you for your support!
Thank you, Dr. Camacho. You’ve fixed my wonky brain.
It’s your turn now. Tell me about your wonky brain.