Okay, so tonight is the night. We are going to be on 20/20 at 10pm. I think it’s 10pm New York time. You know I don’t get the whole time zone thing, so just check their website to figure out when it airs for you.
We will be in Chicago. We’re wrapping up our vacation. I am purposely not going home tonight out of fear that the show will make me look like a bad person and our local news people will want to talk to me about it (because they do… but OOPS! I’m out of town). Also, our central air is still broken because I forgot to leave the repairman a house key. So, I’m going to enjoy the show from the comfort of a Chicago hotel room, in my pajamas, with a half consumed bottle of wine, and air conditioning. Chicago feels less stressful than Toledo for the evening.
This vacation has been awesome. The kids have had the time of their lives. Logan cried when we left the condo this morning. He thought we were going to live there forever. So besides a few hiccups (lack of internet or phone access in the mountains, I started my period a week early, and the kids aren’t fun in the van for 8 hours), I would totally go to Wisconsin Dells again for family vacation.
We’ve figured out that our kids sleep better after we cook them in hot tubs. I am now officially looking for a hot tub for our home. Not only will it help our baby vampires (who never sleep at night and manage to suck the energy out of you), but I think it will also make Sex Saturday Night sexier. We could put the kids to bed, go back to the hot tub, and Shaun and I could hump each other. I guess I should also start looking for a privacy fence to go with our soon-to-be hot tub.
We took the kids to waterparks and no one drowned or got their intestines sucked out of their butts from sitting on a wave pool drain. I consider this a win.
And I was FINALLY able to get a tampon inside of me, thanks to my totally awesome husband. Shaun was kind enough to insert the damn thing for me. I kept it in for exactly 5 minutes before puking in the toilet, which ultimately resulted in a lot of coughing and dislodging of the tampon. I yanked that puppy the rest of the way out. It felt like sandpaper was ripping out my insides. And then I cried because I am obviously weird, and I have strange phobias about Toxic Shock Syndrome. Shaun felt so bad for me that he loaned me a pair of his boxers to wear to the waterpark. He’s such a great guy.
Last night we went to a casino in Wisconsin Dells called The Ho-Chunk. I lost $178 AT THE PENNY SLOTS! How is that even possible? The Ho-Chunk is bunk. But we did pass a strip club called Cruisin’ Chubby’s to get to the casino. I’m not sure if it’s a strip club for chubby chasers or if it is referring to a penis. Either way, whoever named that place deserves a prize.
Help us out with the rest of our vacation, what is cool to do in Chicago with an 8 year-old, a 3 year-old, and a 23 month-old? It seems like going out to the bars would be out of the question since drunks are so judgy about being around a bunch of babies (and I have only ever done adult things in Chicago).