It’s Healthy To Have An Arch Nemesis

by Meredith on September 20, 2012

There’s a girl I went to high school with that I absolutely hate with every bone in my body.

I mean, I wouldn’t wish death on her, but I definitely hope she comes down with adult acne. Or maybe her teeth could fall out or something.

See?

Those thoughts aren’t even nice. Who would wish bad things on another human being? Only mean people, right?

But I don’t think I’m mean. I just think she makes my blood boil.

And her maiden name happens to rhyme with “fuck”, so whenever I hear her name, or come across her online, I always say to myself,

Oh, look. It’s Jenny the Fuck again.

Okay, so I don’t always say it to myself. Even people I work with know I hate her. She just makes me so insane! I can’t even help bu to talk about her!

I don’t like this woman for three reasons:

1. She stole my baby name.

2. She stole my baby name.

3. She stole my baby name.

 Alright, that was one reason, three different times.

You see, she wasn’t nice to me when we were kids. Facebook brought us together as adults. And she seemed nicer than she was in high school, so I began to trust her. She was pregnant when I was pregnant, and we would chat on Facebook about being pregnant, but I made the stupid mistake of telling her I was naming my daughter “Lilah”.

Sure as the day is long, Jenny the Fuck had her baby a few months before me. And she stole my baby’s name, and used it for her baby’s middle name.

I was so stressed out about it, that I was going to name my little Lilah something else. Of course, Shaun told me how stupid I was acting, and assured me that she probably just thought I was good at naming things, so I should see her baby name thievery as a compliment.

But after that, all sorts of weird things started happening between me and this girl. At least in MY brain, weird things were happening.

Like, I would post something on Facebook that was totally just me being funny about something, and then SHE would post things on Facebook that were similar. And then I started a blog, so SHE started a blog. And before I knew it, she was writing nasty things about me online.

Which? WHY?!

I’ll tell you why; it was probably because she’s so jealous of me that she wanted to cut my skin off and wear it around as a coat. I’m talking Single White Female stuff here, folks.

That’s the reason I tell myself, anyway.

But in reality I am sure she isn’t crazy, it’s just me who is crazy. And the passive agressive things she was writing online were probably about someone else. But I just wanted them to be about me so I had more reasons to hate her than the simple fact that she stole my baby name.

So I unfriended her on Facebook. The hate was consuming me, and had it not been for Facebook, we never would have crossed paths in life again. Like, ever. I was finally free of her.

But lately, she has been popping up again. I’ve seen her stupid name commenting on this or that, and the same hatred bubbles inside of me.

Which, is super stupid, right? I mean, if I know she’s a waste of emotion, why do I go into this frenzy at even the slightest mention of her name?

Clearly I needed professional help. I called my friend, Allison, who is a real-life Doctor of Psychology. I told her about my hatred for this woman, and how no one else in the world makes me as mad as she does, and how I know it’s silly because I am pretty positive Jenny the Fuck doesn’t even know about the feelings I harbor.

And do you know what she told me?

IT’S NORMAL.

So there you have it.

Having an arch nemesis is healthy. According to Dr. Allison, it creates balance in my life. I love people, so I have to have someone to direct some bad feelings towards once in awhile.

Basically what I’m saying is, you guys need to get yourself an arch nemesis.

You’re welcome, Internet.

And if you already have an arch nemesis, tell me about that person. Just let it all out for the sake of your mental health. I promise not to judge you.

{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Belle Vierge

Um. I genuinely like everyone. Except for this one anon on twitter. I don’t follow her nor does she follow me, but I ended up watching this stupid youtube video she posted in which she totally boob-shames. It pissed me off, and I ended up blogging about it. Esp because she has small boobs. But other than that, I usually like everyone.

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Adria

I have SEVERE baby-naming issues. Only mine is totally and truly coincidence (it doesn’t seem like yours is, but I guarantee you mine won’t look like it’s a coincidence even though it so is). Anyway here’s my story. There’s this guy a had a crush on long ago. He was happily married and nothing ever happened. One night I got drunk and sort of hit on him. Again nothing happened and the next day I felt HORRIBLE so I apologized to his wife, who has hated me on unparalleled levels ever since. (This feels extra bad to me because I have issues needing everyone to love me.) Me and my stupid big drunken mouth.

So anyway, years later his wife and I got pregnant at the same time. Neither of us ever told anyone our baby names (certainly not each other). I had a name picked out (not shared with anyone but my husband) for if the baby was a boy. She had a boy several months before I had my (thankfully) baby girl and named her boy EXACTLY (including middle name) what I would have named my boy. So now, even though it’s more than 5 years later and I won’t be getting pregnant any time soon, I do want more kids someday and I do still love my boy name and it still has the same meaning to me it did back then. But because she hates me, I *KNOW* she will think I stole it from her. I’ve decided to live my own life and not worry about her (much like you did with Lilah – as you should!) but I genuinely fear the confrontation I may have to have someday.

Not sure why I told you all of that – but she is my archnemesis and the whole baby name stealing made me think of it.

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Sarah G

My arch nemesis lives across the street from me. We call her Old Scary. We have had actual run ins because of our sons though (Hers is a jerk, mine is a crybaby.) so I think the feeling is mutual. Except she’ll probably show up on my doorstep at Christmas w/ a jar of apple butter again & sing a carol. Think I’ll shut the door in her face.

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Campbell

I am just glad to know that you are crazier than me!

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Belle Vierge

I also forgot to add RE: baby names.

I’m naming my daughter my first name. Trust me, if anyone “steals” it, I’ll just be totally flattered they named their daughter after me! ;)

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Joy

My arch nemesis Rachel “super b****” has been my nemesis since elementary school. We invited her to sleep over and she made up all of these rules about how the first person to fall asleep got their underwear in the fridge, their hand in warm water, shaving cream on their face, and well you get the point. WHO fell asleep first? Super B****. Then cursed us out and called her mom to go home.

Add to this that she liked everyone I liked in high school, and tried to flirt with them when they were going out with me(because hello I am way prettier than her!). So she went from being super b**** to trampy super b****.

PS – I’m sure this is completely healthy

PPS – The unhealthy part is I hate everyone named Rachel. Ugh have you ever met a nice Rachel?

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Meredith

I hate Rachel’s now.

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Tina

I just did a quick Rachel inventory….. All trampy, or b****y

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Joy

This doesn’t surprise me. Their parents must know, and therefore name them Rachel. Just an FYI for all of the baby name thieves. Rachel not a good choice.

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Drazil

Shitballs. What happens if I have more than 1 person I hate and want to shank in the eyeballs? Can we still be friends or do you have to disown me?

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Meredith

I think it just means you’re SUPER healthy!

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Drazil

Also – I also want to say that this is why the ENTIRE time I was pregnant I convinced EVERYONE that I was naming the baby Oprah. And since my last name starts with a J – I also told everyone her nickname would be OJ….

You should have seen the looks on people’s faces. Priceless.

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Meredith

BAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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hannah

omg. monica. i hate the girl! she has giant horse teeth, a skinny body and big hair. we were friends until 4th grade. her mom married a rich dentist and then she was to good for me. she was a mean girl, totally like regina in mean girls, all thru high school and from what ive heard a big slut afterward. everytime i see her i want to punch her in the face. however we have a mutual friend and i cant help but want to know things about her, like she screwed a teacher who is married on a beer cruise. big giant whore!! i dislike everyone named monica, all because of her. sorry for the crappy typing. im trying to feed the baby and hold a sick boy!

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Meredith

YES! I do that same thing. Like, I hate seeing her name, but I always ask what she’s up to!

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Tina

OMGICANTBELIEVEITSNORMAL!!!!! <— tots just exhaled all of that into one word!

Theresa. I hate Theresa. I too only wish awkwardness and not death. HOWEVER. She has a stinky na-na, so I guess the Karma bus already hit her. How do I know she has a stinky na-na? I hired her. Because the boy (read = middleaged man old enough to be my father) I was seeing at the time asked me to. She was a family friend (read = bar buddy) of his. So, I needed a receptionist, she needed a job. Done deal. NO!!!! She was useless. And fake. And irresponsible. And had a habit of sitting on my desk to talk to me, and when she would walk away, thats when the smell would linger. NO LIE.

She got promoted (because she cried at meetings) to pretty much be my equal, and my counterpart for another division. Funny. I still did all the work that I'd been juggling for two years for both divisions. She "forgot" things all the time. Thus, I began referring to her as "Lucy" like, Drew Berrymore in 50 First Dates forgetful Lucy.

Then. The layoff. I literally made twice as much as she did. She got my job. I got 11 months vacation.

I wish it ended there. I wish stinky na-na Lucy was no more…. BUT….. I still did contract work for the company. Saw her once a quarter. Then SHE got fired, so it had to for sure be done…. RIGHT?!?!? NOOOOO MEREDITH NO! SHE ISN'T GONE! SHE WAS AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY LAST WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BIRTHDAY! And guess what???

She still smells like stinky na-na.

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Meredith

Why do they keep popping up in our lives?! Just go away already!

Did you end up getting her job?

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Tina

No my sweet new HR job allows me to do Meredith webinars and f* around online… WHY would I go back to the Oil Industry!?!? LOL

Ohhh and she has acne. I can stop hating her. Stinky na-na + adult acne = my life is way better.

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Joy

Winning!!

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Tawny

LMAO at the comment above mine. Stinky Na-Na!!!!!

I have a few people that would feel worthy enough to call themselves my arch-nemesis. However I think the one that takes the cake be my lazy, good for nothing alcoholic sister-in-law. I am everything she told her husband she wanted to be, then once the ring went on her finger she decided she would rather party, slack at work, and birth babies with disabilities due to her drinking. The fact that she knowingly drank during one of her pregnancies sickens me. I will never forgive her for that. EVER.

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Meredith

SHE IS AN EVIL PERSON!

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Jennifer

I don’t think I have one. I feel so out of touch.

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Kenny

Remind me not to piss ANY of you women off!

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Mary

Mine’s Tracy. And I cannot stand the name. She pushed buttons on me that I didn’t even know I was wired for. We worked together, she wanted my job or any superivisors job and she was willing to lie to get it. She told everyone at work that I took drugs and when I ended up being drug tested and was found to be negative, NOTHING happened to the lying bit*h. When I left that job they wanted me to train her for mine, NO WAY. It’s the only job I ever
left early after putting in my notice.

So years 15 years later, after she finally got fired, she show up looking for a job where I am currently employed, I NIXED her ass! Told my company what a sh*t stirrer she was and that I would leave if they hired her. Guess they like me better. Her comment to my HR person when asked about what happened between us was that it was all a long time ago and that she had moved on, implying I guess, that I hadn’t (still trying to stab me in the back?)

So karma was a little slow but it still caught up with her.

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Mary

My mother used to tell a baby name story, she had her names stolen twice by the same person!

As my mom told it, when she was pregnant with my brother, Dennis she told my Aunt who was also pregnant that if her baby was a boy she would name him Dennis and if the baby was a girl the name was to be Suzanne, well my mom had Dennis and 3 months later my Aunt had a girl she named Suzanne.

Forward 2 and 1/2 years. Mom’s choices this time? Mary and Steven. I was born in March and named Mary, my Cousin, Steven came along 4 months later in July.

It’s okay though, I think I am more of a Mary than a Suzanne.

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Nuala Reilly

Okay, so there was this girl, I’ll call her MBitch, who when I was going through some really tough stuff a year and a half ago was all “I’m totally here for you” and would always bring up my tough stuff and encourage me to talk about it. Finally, I couldn’t deal with it anymore and I broke the news to my hubs. MBitch was all “don’t worry, we are friends no matter what” and would always sign off texts with “love you”.
Of course, word miraculously broke out all over and she magically stopped being available to talk to. Texts went unanswered and calls too and after two months of this, I finally realised that she was only around for the drama and I stopped trying to stay in touch.
About two months after that she sent me a very passive agressive message saying that she was “dissapointed in me” that I didn’t try to stay friends and that I pushed her out. She said she had noticed me snubbing her in public (WTF?? I hadn’t seen her in months) and that she hoped I’d “have a nice life” but that she couldn’t waste her time on such an obviously fairweathered friend.
Then she deleted me off facebook.
Then she sent me an email saying she deleted my contact off her phone and not to contact her again.
Okay, fine. So I learned the hard way that she wasn’t a true friend. I let it go and moved on. I was still polite and smiled and said hello whenever we crossed paths and occasionally she would say hello back.
But…
At the end of August, she insulted and berated my daughter (17) in front of other people at our local theatre. She ended the encounter by telling my daughter she was “just as bad as the rest of them” referring to my family.
I was furious. But, again, I didn’t want to go over the top with this person.
We saw her this past weekend, my daughter and I and while she ignored me as if I had sprouted horns, she waited until the end of the night and then spoke to my daughter as if nothing had ever happened between them.
My daughter is a rock star and was calm and polite, but I wanted to spit in her face.
MBitch is definitely my arch nemesis. I’d like to hire a plucky sidekick now and infiltrate her lair and melt her down with acid or something cool like that.
Any takers?

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Kristen

Me! I’ll do it! Bitches who thrive on drama are my least favorite kind of people.

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Coco

Totally have one – Fester, as in Uncle Fester..it is a woman but looks identical to Uncle Fester from The Addams family except with hair. It thinks it is so important and acts all high and mighty and thinks that everyone likes it but that just isn’t the case…I’m not sure I can name one person that likes it. It’s nicknames are Troll, Fester and Sasquatch just to name a few, the other names are from other people. It never does anything wrong and it gets so mad when it doesn’t get its way. I feel childish calling it names (along with it), but I just can’t help it, I can’t stand Fester..the way it talks, the way it stands, the clomping noise it’s stupid wooden shoes make…ok, I’m done ranting…but thank you for letting me know that this hatered is normal!!

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Coco

Oh and just thought of another nicename – mutt/butt face. Sigh – I’m a 12 year old bratty little girl instead of 30 something woman – but I’m going with it’s normal!!

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Vicki

Someone I thought was a friend stole one of my twins’ names, first and middle, when she had her baby a few months later. I was furious and wrote her a note saying “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I guess I should be flattered but I’m just pissed”. I never heard from her again.

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Danalyn

guess whats even more crazy? My arch-nemesis is a cat. Its totally my fault we got a cat, we had them before blah blah blah. Anyhow, we ended up with this cat someone had to give away because of allergies or some such thing. She’s a gorgeous long haired black cat and from day one she just drove me crazy. But she’s someone I can tell to fu*k off and she still loves me. At least after I feed her she does…

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c

My archnemesis is my neighbor. I’ll call her C. C decided she hated me the first time I moved here and met her. we live in a condo and live next door. I was so glad to meet her and she just scowled at me. I’m in my 40′s and she’s 64. I think she’s jealous that I”m younger than her. Anyway she hasnt been very friendly ever since then. I started dating after I moved here, and my new boyfriend offered to fix my bathroom, which was great. He had tools out on my front porch of the condo, and C complained about it. so I had him move them, but he forgot to move the mop he was using . we left, and when we came back, my mop (0nly 5 days old)was gone! she stole it. Nasty b—–. Anyway, i tried to still be nice to her, since she’s my neighbor. I also had a sale at my house and sold some furniture. I had asked a neighbor, who said they thought it wasnt a problem and they had had a sale the year before, so I though, Ok. It lasted just 2 days. Well, C came up to me and said, real snooty-I took pictures of your furniture, and texted them to the condo association, and you’re never allowed to have a sale here again. And then she walked off. You know, there are 2 ways to do things. one is to say look we really dont like you having a sale here, if you dont mind. the second is to text pictures and be really hateful about it! there is no office here, so the only way the office knows anything is by text or phone message. so if noone complains, they arent going to bother you here. but arent I lucky -I have C to text and complain for me!!! Any way then I get a letter that I can never have a sale here again in my condo. so I end up taking the extra stuff to my garage, which I’m not too happy about. I really sold alot in 2 days.. Well, anyway time goes by, and then on e day she tells my boyfriend that he cant park at the condo anymore. Well, he’s been parking in a spot that’s a foreclosure. noone has lived there since I moved in. Two days later I get a letter saying that the condo association was told my boyfriend was parking in someone’s spot who lives there. I had to call and it took me 20 min. to convince them that no, he is not. it’s the foreclosure. I took the letter to C because I was very angry at her for lying, and when I asked her about the letter, she started screaming that she was calling the police. I went down to another older neighbor some doors down to tell her about C and the trouble I’m having. That’s when I find out that C has been telling people that I a m an awful neighbor and how unhappy she is to have me as a neighbor, and that there is constant banging going on non stop. Well, you need to know that I’m a very quiet person, I dont like loud music, and the bathroom which by this time was A YEAR AGO! was the last made any banging. But the truth is, she hates me, and never liked me and so she has been lying to the neighbors several doors down, too far away to know the truth that THERE IS NO banging going on! And here I was wondering why my neighbors werent as friendly as they used to be when I first moved here. I’ts because of her !!!!!! Well, I then went and told her husband what she was doing. How I didnt appreciate her gossiping and lying about me to the neighbors, and how she threatened to call the police. Hesaid dont worry she C wont do that. Well, he travels. And a few days later, when he went to work, the police knocked on my door and said that I had threatened her! when actually she had started trouble for me and I feel that she has been threatening or harassing me since I moved here. Also the police officer said that I cant be “threatening” C because SHE is President of the Condo Association. Excuse me???!!!!!! I dont think so! I told the police officer we dont even have a n office here!!! but she did not seem to care. I also told her that C has been threatening me. but she did not care about that either. I just love police officers. Yeah stand up for the dishonest folks- that ‘s the way to go. Well, since then. I told C when she was out and about that I was never moving away and I was going to be here forever. and sorry about that. I was hoping that she would realize that harassing me wasnt going to work and just leave me alone. But a week later, I heard someone on my porch late at night and next day, my shoes I had left out there were gone (now, gee who likes to steal thing off my porch, let me guess?) And I had some bricks in the backyard up against the building under my windows, that my boyfriends was supposed to use to make small walkway.. They had all been knocked down and the ADT sign that was all the way in the dirt had been pulled up and thrown across the yard. Now I worry that when the mailman leaves mail on the porch, that she’s gonna steal it. I get really stressed out about what she’s going to do next. And I dont really know what t o do about it. But it’s really awful realizing that your’ neighbor hates you just because you are younger, and she is jealous. She is so awful, and now my neighbors think i’m a bad neighbor, when I”m quiet as a mouse. And when I asked her husband if he hears noise or is bothered by anything he shook his head No. So she is a LIAR. But she’s making my life a living hell. I bought this place and I”‘m not going to move away, but cant imagine that my neighbors now hate me over LIES. I just wish and pray every day that she would MOVE AWAY!!!!

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Salvatore

Hi there! This poet couldn’tbe written any better! Readin this post
reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this.
I will forward this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read.

Thanks for sharing!

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