I took down a post. Can you believe it? Any writer knows that putting work into something, putting it up, and then pulling down the thing that you loved so much is depressing.
Super-duper depressing.
***If you want the happy Meredith that you are used to seeing, please stop here and come back tomorrow. I will have the funny at that time.
I pulled down a post because a “friend” (and I use that word loosely) did not like one sentence that was a reference to something that was very funny to her six years ago. Something that I would have never thought anyone would link back to her. A quick, witty, and comical reference.
No one would have ever known anything about it, and I assumed everyone just thought I made it up since it was so unbelievable. That is… if she could keep her mouth shut about it. But since she can’t, and unbeknownst to me, others knew this one little sentence with exactly eight words, was about her.
I was quick to rush home from Christmas shopping after I received a flurry of text messages from this “friend” telling me that I pretty much suck at life.
I did what any sane person would do (who is blindsided by nasty text messages), I picked up the phone and called her.
Clearly, when I made this call, she was sitting around listening to New Kids On The Block, french braiding hair, plotting the next house to “toilet-paper”, and sneaking Zima’s from the garage refrigerator. Because that is about how mature this phone call was.
After being chewed out by her (and another friend) for eight little words, I sent her about 5 text messages explaining that I was sorry, and I agreed that I suck at life.
I really was sorry. Really.
Until I thought about what she said to me on the phone some more. Once I thought about the whole conversation and how SHE was talking about ME and to ME to everyone, I became really EFFING PISSED!
I don’t even get why you’re blogging now, Meredith? I don’t get it. …I guess she does work for some social media company as well and has to travel all the time. She has three kids. Tell her she has three kids! What kind of mother is she that she would work and travel and leave her three kids? …Well, I’ve never actually read your site. …And I was shocked to see you at the hospital when I had my baby because we really haven’t spoke in awhile. …Why would you even consider us friends after that sentence?
Yeah. The more I think about what you said about me, the more I think that you kind of suck at life. And MAYBE if you weren’t such dicks, I would let it go and NOT write about you on the Internet.
Maybe. But we all know that when it’s fight or flight with me – I fight.
So let’s just air out this dirty laundry and get a couple of things straight.
1. I do not travel that much. Actually, I am traveling less than I ever was two years ago for my REAL job in Human Resources (the job that apparently you think it is okay to travel around the country for).
2. When I do travel, my parents and Shaun’s parents watch our children. I take my husband with me so that we can have some alone time since I believe that every couple needs that.
3. I have been mothering people for 8 years. I have three kids. You have one. She is four months old. Please don’t act like the last four months has turned you into God’s gift to mothering things.
4. You called me and told me that you had your baby and to come and see her. I did. Because that’s what friends do, and you came and saw all of mine. Also, we had spoke. On the phone. A lot.
5. We haven’t seen each other in awhile because you moved to another town and got married and had a baby. These types of things make it difficult to just go grab a couple at the local bar. And now that you’re a mother - you should understand why I was not able to do this with you as much as you wanted me to back in the day.
6. Thanks for never reading my blog and being so supportive. Maybe that is a conversation that needs to be had. Although, it does make this a little more comfortable, because I know you will never read this anyway.
7. Blogging is a real job and so is working for a social media company. It pays bills (kind of like your waitressing job does). I’m not sure if you’re aware of this or not, but it is okay for a woman to work and help support her family. I happen to have 2 jobs.
8. Crying is kind of like your M.O. (that stands for Method of Operation – try and keep up). So as you read this and cry, I no longer care. You ruined my bachelorette party, you ruined countless birthdays of mine, and I had to pull you aside and ask you not to cry and ruin my wedding since none of my friends like you. You cry for attention whenever the attention is not on you. It’s childish.
9. When I write, I am not thinking of the 5 blog stalkers from my hometown that simply read it to talk about me behind my back. Let me show you a snapshot of my last 500 hits (oh - and I get a lot more than that in one day):
See? I am not thinking of you (with the exception of today – today I am thinking of you). And if you are from my hometown and you read it because you think it’s fun around here (typically – not today), then THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Please come back anytime. If you’re not reading it because you think it’s fun, but rather you just want something to talk about at your little get-togethers (you know who you are) – THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Every single hit counts!
I guess what I want to say is that you really hurt my feeling (the one that I have left) when you questioned my ability to work and be a mother. I can do it all, and I would think that you would know how talented I am since you watched me do it as a single mother (while working full time and going to school full time to get my Bachelor degree). I busted my ass when we hung out everyday. Why would you think I would lose my work ethic now? Why would you think that I couldn’t juggle it all? BECAUSE I CAN!
Welcome to 2011, “Friend”. Glad to have you join us. Now go buy yourself a PDA and a laptop and let me know what you can accomplish.
To the rest of my readers, thank you for letting me rant today. It feels good to get that off of my chest. Please come back again tomorrow when I will bring the funny.
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
shit, you’re hot when you’re angry.
Oh god. People need to relax a little. XOXO
Ho.
Lee.
Snizzatch.
Note to self: Do not get on Mere’s bad side.
Yes, staying on my good side is always a PLUS.
As a member of the same hometown you are referring too…. eff her and her groupies. They will always judge you. They will always believe they know everything about you. They will always be nice to your face and talk shit behind your back… because that’s what they do.
PS. All personal ties should be warned… You’re a blogger. Where are you supposed to get material??? Duh. Man up and laugh about it with everyone else, bitches!
YES! YES! YES! *this is me having a comment orgasm*
Fuck Em! Good post! As someone who has known you through all of this, I’m proud of you. When you grow, some people get left behind because they can’t keep up. They have inferior abilities and few aspirations. It’s sad to experience sometimes, but it’s not your problem…move on, and don’t look back.
Everything I needed to know about life… I learned from my Uncle Daddy.
Not only am I amazed with your ability to articulate well in your anger (because when I’m mad I get real ghetto and horridly curse), but I am amazed by all that you have accomplished in spite of the “support” your “friends” gave you.
You’re amazing. And hilarious. And as the biach that I am I laugh (hopefully with you) at the inferior “friends” who think they are so important to our daily lives.
Oh and by the way ROCK ON!!!
(in case that didn’t get through with the earlier part of the comment)
Sorry this little hag got you down today. I just want you to know that you’re an amazing mom in my eyes hon. I basically had no mom of my own but if I could have ordered one-it would’ve been you!!
Your writing is awesome and inspires me to be me. Thank you for you and your kooky life because it helps me to except my kooky life with grace. You are soooo beautiful inside and out!
OH, SNAP!!
you go girl, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not the awesome mother you are. eff them and the horse they rode in on!
What a whore. Jealous people are so dumb, please keep blogging, in fact blog some more! You keep this stay at home mom entertained! XOXO
Bahahaha… You. Are. Awesome. You go girly
I freaking LOVED this post!!! It seems some people will try to twist anything to make it about THEM!!! I am proud of the way you stood up for yourself!!! I know what a great person you are, so forget about the people that may thing otherwise. It is just not true!!!!
Working moms are just as good as any other. I will be coming to you for advice next year…….this mother of 4 is heading back to school in HUMAN RESOURCES and getting a jobby job! I am excited to travel and be able to contribute to my fam monetarily.
You ROCK, Mer!!!
xoxoxox
I can help you find a job! It’s like what I do for my other job and stuff.
Fuck her. You rock and you know it. Dumb bitches!
YOU ROCK!!!! I need you to write my break up speech for one of my old friends.
No problem. I pretty much have losing friends down to a science now.
Stupid people suck.
I’m insanely proud (and a little bit jealous) that you have the guts and gumption to write this, especially when there could be crazies from your hometown lurking in the wings just waiting to be douchbags. I wish I could write something like this, but instead I will say good on ya..not only for writing this, but for being the person you want to be and knowing that you can have it all, going after it and GETTING it.
“Friends” like that aren’t worth having around – so losing them isn’t a loss to anyone but themselves. They don’t deserve you..but you seem to already know that!
So just remember…
You’re the bomb.
And then some.
So when all else fails..give ‘em the finger and keep on proving them wrong.
Best. Revenge. Ever.
LOL….. I know the 8 or as it is…9 words that got you in deep shit with your so called friend ! If everyone knew right away who you were talking about. Without mentioning names! I don’t think she should be worried about the 9 words you wrote….. she should be concerned with why everyone right away thought of her. It could have been a number of people! So WHY did everyone know it was her! ( or at least the people in her little circle) ahhh it sounds like her reputation kinda speaks for itself! So who needs her. Being the good Mom and the respectable person you are! Maybe you are better off without a friend like that!
I’m more of a lurker than a commenter but I just HAD to comment on this one. I totally think you should put that post back up! Who is she to dictate what you can put on YOUR blog? And who is she to make you feel guilty about it? GOOD FOR YOU for standing up for yourself. I too often let others walk on me to avoid confrontation. I look up to you. Thank you for this. You rock my face off!
“You rock my face off.” is now my new favorite saying. You need to comment more often!
Fuck her and her little gossip squad!
That was an epic tell-off. Well done!
First, I’ve been on the fence about starting a blog. In your opinion is it worth all the drama?
Second, as a working mother who travels SOMEtimes, I am so sick of other mom’s judging! Unless they are responsible for paying your mortgage or maintaing your family’s happiness, Eff em! I am so over the mommy judgy mcjudgertons. Good for you!
Lori,
Thank you for the honest question. This is the only drama I have ever had. And it was from someone I never would have expected it from. I don’t even have trolls that leave nasty comments (although I think that they mean that you’ve made it). And not every blogger airs their shit like this. So you don’t have to do it like this. You can be more tame.
I encourage you start a blog. It has led me to so many amazing opportunities. I have met the coolest people, made new friends, and been able to participate in some really neat events. And if you can work it right, you may even be able to pick up a buck or two.
Good luck to you!
Meredith
This is awesome! I have a “friend” to whom I’d like to dedicate this blog post.
THIS IS FOR YOU, PSYCHO SARAH.
That was so much fun! See? Don’t you feel better now?
Wow, a rant to top all rants. What a great post to read today!
You went to town on her. And rightfully so. It’s impossible to never offend anybody on a blog. LOL. It happens. And when people you’re friends with or people you’re close to read it, you’re right; they might pick up on references or comments that remind them of something or, in this case, remind them of themselves (or something that happened previously). She should have kept quiet. What non-bloggers don’t understand is this…she freaked out and told everyone that it was a comment about her. But what she didn’t get was that it was just her and you that would know that. She freaked without cause. And the lambasting (sp?) you provided was justified.
I live in world of rants and this one was priceless. And I hope you felt better afterwards too.
I have been a lurker. I laugh my cellulite off while reading your posts ( or at least I wish I could laugh my cellulite off). Anyway, I have a blog and I have been stuck in a rutt and am trying like hell to get out of it. To make my blog fun and always honest. But I always find myself too worried about certian people reacting poorly to what I write. After reading your posts…..think I’m gonna give it a whirl! Love your honesty. Love your blog! Good for you for saying it how it is! Don’t change !!!
I MUST tell you this…
The hometown posts, get the MOST comments from people. People NOT from my hometown. I think people can relate to it. Small towns blow and people from them can relate to this stuff.
When I write, just to write, blah… everyone can tell! And they are on to me. I try to be as honest as possible all the time. And then my mom calls to tell me to stop it, and then I tell her I can’t. And then 2 days later she is like, “You know, that was your best post yet.” I mean, really, my mother knows I like porn now and she is cool with it.
So you just go out there and write hard! Tell the truth so you don’t get sued. And don’t name drop in these back-stabby circumstances.
Also, THANKS FOR READING!
Clicked over here from Brittany’s blog. After reading this, you are a must add to my Google reader. Rock on, girl!
so, where’s the other post? dish it, girl!
Meredith,
I think you know me to be a “glass half full” kind of guy, and someone who generally gives other people the benefit of the doubt.
My wife was a SAHM for about 8 years now, and has recently graduated (?) to WAHM status. I will talk to you about that later. And she has felt the stare from working mothers, and the perception that they looked down on her. And this has obviously affected (even in a small way) her overall demeanor when dealing with people. But that is my wife’s issue. When it comes down to it, she doesn’t know what was going through the minds of those “working moms.” For all she knows, they were jealous of her. And this “friend’s” view of you is most likely fueled by jealousy (over your hair, your rack, the global reach of your blog, whatever).
Anyway, it pains me when a writer or an artist of any kind feels the sting of censorship (especially self-inflicted), and I’m sorry she made you feel you needed to take the post down. I have teetered over the “PUBLISH” button many times before eventually clicking it. And I have taken a post down myself. It sucks. And your friend “sucks” too. Unless you were talking about Brittany. I like her.
Love this post. Fuck her.
That is disgusting that a friend would say that about you. My exe husband at least said it to my face. Good job at letting it out here instead of what I did. I think I’m still on probation. (It’s a joke; however, I wish I did do the things that rushed into my head at the moment.) You should be proud to how well you have kept yourself up and never gave up especially since you were once a single mom. I know how it is. I am a single mother that is working and going to school full time. People become envious of all that you can accomplish when they themselves cannot make two consecutive steps in the right direction. I applaud you for all your hard work!!
OMG. She sounds like a Mega Bitch.
I had an experience yesterday where I was all, “OMG I’m SO sorry” and now today I’m thinking, “What the motherfuckingfuck was that and why did I apologize?”
Yeah, you get to rant about it and don’t worry. People who are assholes will be assholes and there’s little you can do about them.
On the upside?
I happen to love you.
A lot.
1. You fucking rock.
2. Now I see where that whole “unfriending” advice thing came from. And once again, thank you. I’d do this, too, but I don’t have the balls.
3. Did I mention you fucking rock?
That is all.
PS – my comment spree today is due to the fact that I have a lot of spare time at work; I’m not getting creepy or anything, I swear.
rest of you ‘still manage to get together’. You DO NOT get the friendship of the year award!
I am definitely the one to air stuff out when faced with fight or flight. It’s not that I enjoy confrontation, I think its because I care more! Sometimes I do feel guilty, after the adrenaline rush wares off… Does this happen to you?
*Oops*
I really needed this post right now! To my shitty friend: Sorry I work the typical 9-5 hours and cannot participate in the lunch dates that you’re always sure to mention in front of me. You are a bartender and have off during the week ( or don’t go in until 5:00 PM). You make these plans with mutual friends who either stay home or have off certain week days, and then you act like I’M the biatch because the rest of you ‘still manage to get together’. You DO NOT get the friendship of the year award!
I am definitely the one to air stuff out when faced with fight or flight. It’s not that I enjoy confrontation, I think its because I care more! Sometimes I do feel guilty, after the adrenaline rush wares off… Does this happen to you?