I’m super sorry that I was so caught up with my own birthday, that I forgot about your birthday last week. It wasn’t intentional, I am just super
drunk most of the time selfish.
So this morning, when I realized that your birthday was actually last Friday, I rolled the kids out of bed and we decided to make today your birthday.
There was no cake made, as I am out of eggs, but you know that thing would have come from a box anyway.
The kids made you cards on notebook paper and colored them with a highlighter. Do we need more crayons?
And I put money in an envelope for you from Shaun and I. That envelope may or may not say Toledo Edison or Columbia Gas. Sorry about that.
This probably looks thoughtless to you, or maybe it seems like I just threw it all together last minute, but truth be told… shit… you’re right. I suck.
So I thought I’d take a minute to let you know how much we love you.
You are absolutely the best thing that has happened to our family in a very long time. I worry every single day that you’ll quit, and that I would have to find a new nanny. Finding a new nanny would not be easy. You see, you’re more than just a great nanny to our family.
You are all of these things to us:
- Schedule Organizer
- Children Runner-Arounder
- Finder of All Things (Logan’s iPod is missing… again)
- Booger Wiper
- Hair Doer
- Outfit Judger
- Life Assistant
- Skilled Nurse
- Dinner and Lunch Maker
- Student Loan Fibber To-er (just keep telling them I’ve moved away or something)
- Football Coach
- Boo-boo Kisser
- House Picker-Upper
- Laundry Doer (remember when you began I had 26 loads of laundry that needed done? and I would just buy new clothes all the time?)
- Creative Director
- Proof Reader (except for this one! hope nothing is wrong in this post!)
- Logan’s Girlfriend (and future wife)
- Marriage Counselor
- Emo Fourth Grader Advisor
- Psychic (you’re always right)
- Secret Keeper
- Sister Wife (but without the sex with Shaun… by the way, do mustaches turn you on?)
- My Best Friend
- Glue Holding This Family Together
Becky, you mean the world to us. And we just wouldn’t make it without you.
We love you.
Shaun & Meredith
I need all of you readers to do me a favor. I need everyone tell Becky, Happy Birthday, so she doesn’t leave me.
Because if she ever leaves me, it would be the worst break-up ever, and all I would do is lay on my couch and cry for months, and the kids would be coloring on the walls, and I would resort back to buying us new clothes because I hate doing laundry so we’d probably be broke and not have any money to heat the house, and Shaun and I would be fighting all the time, and the kids would be sad, and everyone would be sick, and we’d probably all just shrivel up and die.
So… no pressure on those Becky birthday wishes.