I think a spider bite from two Fridays ago is ruining my life. Turns out, I’m allergic to spiders, which was news to me. Ever since I was bit in the middle of my face by the spider, I just can’t shake this constant worn-down-tired feeling.

My whole face and body broke out in a rash that looked like this:

Yummy.

I had to take giant horse pills (three times a day) that looked like this:

Yucky.

And by Friday, I was so tired (and oddly cold all the time), I called off work and stayed in bed all day, looking like this:

GAH!

On Friday afternoon, Logan decided to voice his concerns about my appearance like this:

By Saturday, I hadn’t showered in 3 days. It was a new personal best.

Shaun came out of the master bathroom on Saturday, and he said something like this:

Look, I am warming up the water for you.  There is just no nice way to say this. You stink like a dirty hobo who has been peeing on himself. You must go in there and shower.  It will make you feel a lot better. We can’t take the smell of you anymore.

Grudgingly, I took a shower.

And then I walked out of our bedroom and realized that my entire house looked like this:

We have a mom down! Mom down! She's too tired to tell us not to dump out all of our toys!

Reason #450,812 Why We Can’t Have Anything Nice: Mom’s allergic to spider bites.

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Dear Mr. Santorum,

You should know that I am a Libertarian.  I am fiscally conservative, although I support social issues that are clearly liberal.  It’s difficult for me as a voter because it is rare that a Libertarian ever has a chance at winning the Presidency.  So I have to take the good with the bad, and cast my vote for what’s more important to me.

I tend to vote Republican.

I don’t agree with everything any candidate has to say.  I don’t think anyone does.  I think we pick through the statements and empty promises to try to find someone that will lead our economy out of this crisis and allow us to experience the freedoms every American deserves.

That being said, I am terrified of you.  If you make it through the Republican Primary and actually become the Republican candidate for President, YOU WILL NOT HAVE MY VOTE.

Are You an Alpha Male?

I was once cyber stalked by a group of Alpha Males (they refer to themselves Alpha Males) who had an entire forum dedicated to hating me because I am a working mother.  Here is a small sample of what they said about me:

Females fail at everything besides raising children and caring after people.

We didn’t get through millions of years of natural selection by having women with “equal rights”.

What kind of man would let his wife hire more kitchen help?  *in reference to our nanny*

women, lol. i wish some sort of major apocalypse would really happen in 2012 (to the extent where only the strong and lucky survive)  the only women to make it through would be guided by men… fukin ingrates srs

women would be totally biased to hiring other women so they can gain some sort of power

lol women. i can’t believe women’s suffrage actually happened. was a bunch of self-entitled stay at home moms who thought they deserved to earn 100k pay checks and graduate high school with a 2.5 gpa.

newsflash: women are worse than men at everything

Nothing new here, most women suck at everything.

Back in the stone-age, a womens job was to give birth, look after children, and care for the sick. Men literally done every other action that was involved in the survival of the species. 

I can’t believe they put a woman in a position that effects the lifes of men.

She probably throws out the resumes of men based on her damaged female pride.

Ouch, right? That hurts. Is that really what men think of women?

To wrap my head around these statements, I spoke to my boss, my male co-workers, my husband, and my dad. They all found what was said to be hilarious and told me to let it go, calling them “giant douche bags that don’t understand the real world.”

I think you’re an Alpha Male, Mr. Santorum.  Your words sound a lot like their words (but with much better grammar and a larger platform).

Here is what you have to say…

On Women In Military Combat

I want to create every opportunity for women to be able to serve this country, and they do so in an amazing and wonderful way, and they’re a great addition and they have been for a long time to the armed services of our country, but I do have concerns about women in front-line combat.

The other example is the emotions of men, dealing with women in combat, and having men not focusing potentially on the mission but on the natural instinct to protect someone that’s a female.

If you’re out there, for example, in a group, or just two people, and some people, because of women, have, as you know with respect to physical capabilities, they don’t have the same requirements that men do in the military, and may be in a position if someone is injured, has to be brought back.

I think that could be a very compromising situation, where people naturally may do things that may not be in the interest of the mission because of other types of emotions that are involved.

On Women Working Outside of the Home

Many women have told me, and surveys have shown, that they find it easier, more ‘professionally’ gratifying, and certainly more socially affirming, to work outside the home than to give up their careers to take care of their children.

The radical feminists succeeded in undermining the traditional family and convincing women that professional accomplishments are the key to happiness.

On Women Who Use Birth Control

I don’t think it works. I think it’s harmful to women. I think it’s harmful to our society to have a society that says that sex outside of marriage is something that should be encouraged or tolerated, particularly among the young. And I think we’ve very, very harmful longterm consequences to our society. Birth control to me enables that, and I don’t think it’s a healthy thing for our country.

One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country

The whole sexual libertine idea; many in the Christian faith have said, well, that’s OK, contraception is OK. It’s not OK, because it’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.

On Abortions for Women Rape Victims

That child is an innocent victim, to be victimized twice would be a horrible thing. It is an innocent human life, genetically human from the moment of contraception. We in America should be big enough to try to surround ourselves and help women in those terrible situations who have been traumatized already. To put them through another trauma of an abortion, I think is too much to ask. So I would absolutely stand and say that one violence is enough.

The right approach is to accept this horribly created—in the sense of rape—but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you.

…make the best of a bad situation.

On Women Marrying Women

[Marriage is] not a right, it’s something that has existed since the beginning of human history as an institution where men and women come together for the purposes of forming a natural relationship as God made it to be. And for the purposes of having children and continuing that civilization. It is an intrinsic good…And as a result of that, we extend a privilege. We extend certain privileges to people who do that because we want to encourage that behavior. 

Two people who may like each other or may love each other who are same-sex, is that a special relationship? Yes it is, but it is not the same relationship that benefits society like a marriage between a man and a woman.

Please Don’t Tell Me He Stands a Chance

Don’t Worry About What You’ve Said About Women, Mr. Santorum.
Your Buddy, Rush Limbaugh, Has Your Back.

Now, they happen to have an interview that Santorum gave years ago in which he talked about this within the context of states’ rights.  He said if the state wants to ban contraception, they should have the right to do that. 

Well, that becomes:  Santorum supports banning contraception.  So to the people in this country who do nothing but have sex mindlessly day in and day out and to whom birth control is only a means of eliminating consequences, you tell them that the Republican Party wants to take away their means of no consequences, and I don’t care what else is going on in the world, 300 nuclear weapons, tax increases, economy being destroyed, you tell that bunch of mindless, brain-dead twerps that they’re not gonna get their birth control pills, and that’s all that will matter. 

They’re gonna vote for Obama on that alone, and that’s what they’re counting on.  Barack Obama and the Democrat Party are aiming at the lowest common denominator.  They have spent decades dumbing down the American people in the education system that they run and that they have run. 

I vote mostly conservative, and I will never vote for you.  I’ll vote for President Obama with the rest of the (what did Rush call women again?) “mindless brain-dead twerps” before I ever cast a vote for an Alpha Male like you.

I pray you don’t make it out of the GOP, because you will ruin the conservative ticket for women voters.

I’d rather be taxed more than be treated like a second rate citizen because I have a vagina.

This isn’t a “radical feminist” thing, sir, this a “women in general” thing.

Sincerely,

Meredith Soleau
A Concerned Conservative Voter

Sources: Rush Limbaugh Show, Think Progress, You Tube, You Tube , It Takes a Family, Fox News, CNN, CNN

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THINGS THAT DON’T SPEAK VERY WELL

Lilah:

Logan:

Minions:

Lilah and Logan have developed their own little language.  Lilah barely speaks to anyone but Logan, and he interprets most things she says so we can understand.

You can see why this is a problem. We can barely understand him.

We start speech therapy today.

This is going to cost a small fortune to correct, I am sure of it.

Did your children have to go through speech therapy? Did it fix the problems? How long will it take?

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I meant to hit “Save Draft” and not “Publish” yesterday morning. I’m sorry if you’ve already seen this in your readers. But that explains some of the emails I have received supporting me. Thanks for those.

***

When things go quickly south, there are two things you can do. Well, maybe there’s more than two, but I can only think of two right now.

1. Fight

2. Flight

I am not sure what this is.  Maybe it’s just venting. But I was asked if maybe I should change or remove something I had written, and I will not. So maybe this is fighting, or maybe it’s just a response stating that I stand by what I wrote.

I wrote this post for an HR/Recruiting website.  It’s about my encounter with a porn star applicant. Just so you know, this is the most difficult place for me to write.  There is so little I feel comfortable divulging about life in the HR trenches. But I really didn’t bat an eyelash at this topic.

Would I ever hire a porn star? This is a popular question among HR people.  And I was actually faced with it.

Was this a male porn star? Was this a woman porn star? Did it happen recently or some time ago?  That doesn’t matter.  Just know it happened, and sometimes in HR, you cannot give all of the details.  But the situation in the article remained the same. The situation was, would you hire someone that your employees have figured out is a porn star?

No.

I’m not a fan of my employees seeing each other naked.  I’m really not a fan of my employees seeing each other naked, performing sex acts. And since she was pointed out to me, and I was told by an employee (more than one employee) to look this person up, IT IS MY OBLIGATION TO MY COMPANY TO LOOK HER UP! Obviously they were uncomfortable enough to tell me about it.  If HR is hearing about it, it must be a concern. Employees aren’t often asking you to Google porn stars.

So I did.

And there it was.  I saw everything. Like, EVERYTHING.

Can you imagine how much trouble I would have been in if my employees began spending their days looking her up online and talking about it? Can you imagine how the lines get blurred about what it might be okay to say to someone and not say to someone when the did porn for years and years and years?

It’s my job to make sure I think about these sorts of things. It’s my job to protect my company and not put us in these situations where unprofessionalism seems so easy. It’s my job to evaluate risk.

So you’d think I could share this story with other HR people, they would all chuckle, and they would all say that they would do the same thing. They would say that they also not hire this person (because I can guarantee that’s what they would do).

That isn’t what happened at all. Apparently, porn stars deserve a second chance, and this clearly means I hate women. And people in wheelchairs (their words – not mine – being in porn must be protected by the ADA – I need to look into that).

I want to go on the record and tell you all, being a porn star is not a legally protected class.  And if you’re ever thinking of being in porn, please do it under a different name. Someone can legally not hire you for that reason alone.

I didn’t feel like I was revealing some dirty little HR secret, but apparently I did. Great HR people don’t like to hire people that seem risky to our businesses. That has nothing to do with being a certain race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or having a disability.  It has everything to do with seeing you perform during an orgy.

Look, I have some of the most beautiful women in the world working here.  They leave their clothes on.  The lines aren’t blurred. I don’t have to worry about them being more readily harassed.

I have no problem hiring beautiful women. I would NEVER hire a porn star. If that means I suck at HR – then I suck. I should totally be fired.

*but I won’t get fired for this*

*only HR people are blackballing me*

I’m not going to comment anymore on that post I wrote. I am just going to let it ride because they look so incredibly stupid in the comment section arguing that I should have hired her.

They are talking about how dumb I am for sharing that story in the first place.  They think I only shared (and some of them think I made it all up) the story for the sake of traffic to Fistful of Talent. They think I am disgracing HR Managers everywhere by being so honest in my (apparently made up) thought process.  They say I’m appalling for not hiring a porn star out of fear that she may open us to harassment lawsuits.  They say I have committed career suicide.

I mean, seriously… THE POST IS ABOUT NOT HIRING A PORN STAR THAT WE HAD ALREADY SEEN GIVING BLOWIES!

Am I only the only one in the world that sees a problem with this?  Have we become so desensitized that we now think it’s okay to do porn without real life consequences? Do we really think that employers have to bring that sort of risk into the workplace? Even after employees have voiced a concern? And since when are HR Managers and Hiring Managers the new advocates for the porn industry?

WHAT UNIVERSE AM I LIVING IN?

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I’m pretty sure I said all of these things at least a million times.  I love, love, love this video!

Sh*t New Moms Say

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Before I get started, be sure to check out Brittany & Meredith LIVE over the next two days. We’re having a big Valentine’s Day give away!

***

Something snapped in my brain as I watched the Super Bowl halftime show.

My Twitter stream went awry.

I couldn’t control the tweets rolling off my fingers.

See? I was so caught up in her performance that I couldn’t even wipe the butt of a three year-old.

And then my brain exploded, and I felt like I needed to take her picture.  I was going to snap her picture with my cell phone, but NO! Madonna deserves the Canon! So I got out my fancy camera and took pictures of the TV.

After I felt good about the photos of her on TV, while she was actually on my TV, I tweeted some more once the performance was over.

I called Shaun to ask him what he was thinking (you know, since he abandoned me and our children to go get drunk with his buddies).  And then I tweeted what he told me.

Looking back, I can see how ridiculous I was being on Twitter last night. BUT HER SHOW WAS RIDICULOUS! Ridiculous in a good way!

What did you think of the Madonna halftime show? It was the best one ever, right?

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I want to start by telling you that I have written this post 100 times before today.  I delete it each time. Also, this could probably be two posts.

I feel like I have this thing hanging over me, and I need to get it all out.  It is so incredibly personal and hurtful to me, and it’s just difficult to talk about.

***

I’m currently without a church.

I’ve really only ever attended one church my whole life.  The Church of Christ.  My parents began taking me to the Church of Christ when I was one week old.  As a matter of fact, it was the first place they ever took me outside of our home.

I know the Bible.  I can quote verses.  I was really into the Youth Group.  I was baptized, not once, but twice.  Once when I was 12 and again when I was 15 years-old.  I wanted to make sure it stuck. Christian guilt is something I experience on a regular basis, and I am happy that I have enough morals to feel that sort of guilt.

My problem isn’t with God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit.  I have that inside of me, and I know one of my baptisms must have worked since I’m certain that I’ll go to Heaven one day to hang out with JC where we will make water into wine everyday just for fun.

I guess, my problem is with other Christians, specifically the gossipy ones and the preacher at the Church of Christ.  And not just one preacher that I have encountered over the years, but three different preachers.

Preachers do not like me.

Fine.

The feeling is mutual.

When I was pregnant with Lars, I completely stopped attending church.  I was ashamed and embarrassed about being an unwed mother.  The shame was so overwhelming, that I considered having an abortion so no one would ever know.  I knew how they had all talked about another girl in our Youth Group when she got knocked up.

Did you see Lisa here today?  How terrible! She isn’t even married.

I heard the dad doesn’t want anything to do with the baby.

I heard he’s… a druggie.

She was probably into drugs or something. I heard she isn’t sure of who the father is.

And while I knew all of this was unfair to Lisa, I also knew that it was unacceptable to show up to my church with a swelling belly and no wedding ring. So I stopped going since I wanted to keep my baby.

*cue the Papa Don’t Preach music*

Eventually, Sy asked me to marry him.  I agreed, and the wedding plans were well underway.  I just needed a church for us to be married in, because marriage is something very sacred to me, and I think sacred things happen at church (I mean, I was baptized twice to double ensure my passage to Heaven, for Christ’s sake).

I went to ask if we could be married at my life-long church.  I explained in great detail the reason I had stopped attending.  He knew my family well, and I just figured he would marry us.

He wouldn’t do it.

And it’s not because I hadn’t been coming to church (even though I promised I would begin coming again, and I promised Sy would attend as well, and I promised to put extra money in the collection plate)… he wouldn’t marry us because I had a child out of wedlock.

I asked my parents’ Church of Christ preacher to marry us (they had moved and attended another church).  He also turned us down because I had a child out of wedlock.

Does anyone else think it’s weird that two preachers would not allow me to marry the father of my child?

Sy died. So I guess I didn’t have to worry about that anymore.

Years went by, I began dating Shaun, and he asked me to marry him.

The Church of Christ had a new preacher again.  I asked the new preacher to marry Shaun and I.  The new preacher wouldn’t marry us because Shaun was divorced (I guess that whole unwed mother thing wasn’t an issue for him). He was divorced because he literally walked in while his wife was cheating on him. But, I guess that doesn’t count as a good enough reason.

Tired of messing around with the Church of Christ, and wanting more that anything to be married in a church, I asked my dad’s friend, the Lutheran minister.  He gladly agreed, and we paid him with a bottle of finely aged Scotch.  It was a perfect day.  We continue to have a happy marriage.

This was NOT at the Church of Christ.

There are things I really believe in that the Church of Christ holds as a value.

I believe you shouldn’t baptize your baby. A person should make the decision to follow the Lord on your own. After all, the Bible says all children are innocent in the eyes of the Lord.

I believe baptism is the washing away of your sins.  You should be dunked under water like John the Baptist dunked Jesus.  A sprinkle on your forehead just won’t cut it. Saying a prayer for salvation is not the same as being baptized.

I believe the Church of Christ has the most beautiful singing in the world, as most of them sing a capella. After all, the Bible says sing and make music in your heart. They do that well.

So don’t get me wrong, there are many things that draw me to the Church. Even though I was upset about being married outside of the Church, we once again began attending on a regular basis.  I want my family to have a solid Christian foundation.

And then something else happened.

The preacher began spewing fire and brimstone (as they sometimes do) about what it is to be gay.  He used the pulpit to speak about the sinfulness of it all, and he talked about how the “lifestyle” is a choice. Of course, all of “those homosexuals” will burn in Hell.

After that sermon, I invited him to my home for a chat.  We debated for hours about being gay.  I told him I have several gay friends, and they all knew they were gay from a very young age.  This was not their choice. Who would choose a much more difficult life? You’re born this way.  He rebutted with how 90% of “those homosexuals” were molested as children, thus resulting in their homosexuality.  I asked to see the facts on that because I felt like he was just making things up by that point.

He left after he realized this conversation was going nowhere with me. Well, he prayed for my soul first, and then he left. he also gave me a strong warning to never leave a child of mine alone with one of “those homosexuals”.

Months go by, and being a person who carries things with her, I quietly sat in the pew and hung on his every word. Many thoughts went through my head during those months.

Was this really a church I wanted to attend?  Because I feel like there is a lot of hate here.

Maybe I just like the singing.  Maybe I just like the way they baptize things.  

Maybe I don’t like the people or the preacher at all.  And isn’t that what really makes a church? It’s people?

And aren’t we all sinners? A sin, is a sin, is a sin.  It is what it is.  Who is to say someone is a better Christian than me or that their belief is better than mine?  None of us are without sin.  That includes straight, married people.

Doesn’t Jesus want us to love everyone? I don’t want my kids growing up to be hate mongers or judgmental people.

What about Shaun?  He is so new to Christianity. He was only recently baptized. Would my questioning of this particular church push him away from God forever?

So I sat there.  I kept my mouth shut.  I took it all in.  I didn’t want to ruin Shaun’s shiny new image of Christianity.

Until my decision was easily made for me.  It was as if Buddy Christ himself came to me and told me what to do.

Jesus is your Homeboy.

The preacher began speaking about how he doesn’t support the American Red Cross because they take the crosses off of bags of beans and put a crescent on there for Islamic nations.  They do this because the people will sooner starve before eating beans with a cross on the bag.  Not wanting people to starve, the Red Cross is the Red Crescent in some places. But it’s all the same organization.

Was he really standing there telling us that he doesn’t support that?  Would he really rather have people starve to death than eat beans with a crescent on them? This is human life we’re talking about.

I passed Shaun a note.

We’re never coming back here again! I’m done now. Red Robin for lunch?

And that was it.

I haven’t been back.

So now what do I do? What religion are you, and why do you like it?

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Brittany & Meredith LIVE is the most fun ever.  If you haven’t checked out the hilarity yet, you might as well start with last weeks’s show.

There really are no words for the pet psychic.

Download it on iTunes.

Direct download.

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***
FROM: Meredith
TO: Shaun
SUBJECT: Your punishment should you ever choose to cheat…

Hey, they were talking about this guy on 92.5 KISS FM this morning.

He was standing on the High Level Bridge this morning, in downtown Toledo.

A lady stopped her car and threw her orange juice in his face while screaming, “ALL CHEATERS ARE SINNERS!”

The police had to ask him to leave because he was causing a traffic jam due to people stopping to take his picture.

I would totally make you do this if you ever cheat on me.

Love,

Your Wife

***
FROM: Shaun
TO: Meredith
SUBJECT: RE: Your punishment should you ever choose to cheat…

I thought the punishment was divorce.

Love,

Your Husband

***
FROM: Meredith
TO: Shaun
SUBJECT: RE: RE: Your punishment should you ever choose to cheat…

Good point.  It’s still divorce.

Love,

Your Wife

***

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Welcome to Case of the Mondays, where I tell you things (from a Human Resources Manager’s perspective) that apply to you (as an employee).  It’s an advice column to help you stay employed, find employment, and make more money in your career.  

Stop acting like a woman if you want to get into the Boys Club. And trust me, you want to get into the Boys Club.

Ladies, let me help you out here. Please don’t take this personally.  I am telling you this because I’ve made these mistakes myself. I have learned from them, and I have become more successful in all aspects of my life.

STOP ACTING LIKE A WOMAN AT WORK.

There. I said it.

If you want to make it in business (or life in general), you need to start thinking like a man.  Women are BETTER at business than men, once we get past the stupid things that hold us back.

THERE’S NO CRYING IN BUSINESS! 

It’s funny that I am telling you this because I cried at work on Friday. Well, I didn’t cry at work. I cried in my car in the back of the parking lot. I cried where no one could see me crying. And then I freshened myself up, and I went back inside.

I get it. Sometimes we need to let it out. Sometimes our jobs are stressful. Sometimes we disagree with our boss or a co-worker. Sometimes we had a fight with our lover before we came to work. Whatever is causing that lump in your throat, get up from your cubicle and walk away. Go somewhere else so no one ever sees you crying. Sit in your car, take a drive, go to the bathroom. But DO NOT sit and weep where others can see you.

You look weak.

You look like you cannot handle the stresses of your job.

You make people uncomfortable.

You might disagree with me and say, “Meredith, everyone knows crying is cool and acceptable in 2012.” I am here to tell you that you’re wrong.

Don’t cry. You look like a pansy. I know because your manager and co-workers tell me things like, “Suzie’s a hot mess. We need someone that mentally handle this place.”

STOP BEING CATTY!

You girls can be real female dogs when you want to be. It drives everyone around you NUTS.

Hi, Suzie! I LOVE those shoes. Your hair is perfect today!

*after Suzie walks away*

I wouldn’t be caught dead in those shoes. She looks like a freaking hooker. And is her hair circa 1987, or what?

Stop this now. If you don’t like her – stop talking to her! That’s what boys do. When they don’t like someone they work with, they just stop talking to them unless it’s vital to accomplish some sort of work function.

I never hear the men at work being fake nice to each other. If they have a problem with someone, they say their piece. They get it off their chest, and they move one. That’s it. They certainly don’t pretend.

Stop pretending to be friends. We have known you hate Suzie for years. We just think you look dumb.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT BEING LIKED!

This one is hard for me. I want EVERYONE to like me. I like to be liked. Everyone does.

But in my job, I sometimes have to grow this GIANT pair of balls. Sometimes I have to tell people that I genuinely like hard things like, “You no longer work here.” Let me tell you, there isn’t a faster way to be hated by that person and every member of their family.

I had to learn to let it go.

I know Suzie hates me because she’s turning away customers at a 245% rate, and I called her out on it. I’m cool with that. It doesn’t bother me. It’s part of my job. I’m not going to sit around and worry about it.

As a matter of fact, ladies, when someone hates you – let it be fuel to your fire to do a better job at work. This person wants you to get fired or hit by a bus. You will not only look both ways before you cross a street, you will also outperform that whore on a daily basis. Got it? Good.

We don’t care if Suzie likes us. We don’t like her either.

BE ACCOUNTABLE!

Ladies, you are so unaccountable for your mistakes. It makes me insane!

When you mess up, admit it, find a solution, and move forward. Don’t blame it on something or someone else.

DON’T BE NEEDY!

Men don’t need much at work. Ladies, we do.

I am so guilty of this.

• I need compliments that I did a good job.
• I need the latest and greatest computer.
• I need a good parking space.
• I need to think I look pretty, and I want you to tell me I look pretty.
• I need you to ask me if I want lunch, or my feelings will be hurt that you forgot about me.

See?

We have to stop it.

GET TO THE POINT!

No more super wordy emails.

Let’s pretend that I had an employee cuss out a customer (this would be absolutely terrible), and my boss told me to handle it. Here’s an example of an email that is to the point.

TO: Richard
FROM: Meredith
DATE: January 13, 2012
SUBJECT: Mr. Thompson – Upset Customer

Richard,

I handled Mr. Thompson.

I gave him:

• $100 gift certificate towards his next purchase
•  My word that we will try harder next time

Also, I fired Lee for his behavior. I will fight his unemployment if he files.

Meredith

See? Boys like you to talk to them like that.

STOP SUING PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A VAGINA!

It’s possible that you were passed up for a promotion because someone wanted a man instead. And most likely, they wanted a man because you act like a princess at work, and they want you to act more like a man.

I sit in Senior Management. I didn’t get here acting like a princess.

I am not going to sue my employer if they pick a man over me. As a matter of fact, a couple of years ago, they DID pick a man over me for a promotion. But guess what, I didn’t sue them. I worked harder than ever and sucked it up. And now I have his job.

Suing on account of your vagina gets you kicked out of the Boys Club forever. Unless they did something terrible to you, like this: Aaron’s Harassment Lawsuit. If someone whacks on you, you complain, and they do nothing… you can sue.

WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?

It’s no secret. It’s a man’s world. You can argue with me about that as well.

Maybe you’re lucky enough to work with a bunch of women. Even if you are that lucky, I can almost guarantee that women who have GIANT balls and act more like men, are more successful (even when they work with all women). Plus, you will probably change jobs one day and have to work with men. You want to get promoted. You want to be seen as an asset, a real player in the game, not a whiny girl.

© Meredith for Life's Crazy Joke, 2012. | Permalink | 37 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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