Welcome to the every other Monday series, I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays. This series is designed to help you find a job you love, find any job at all, not get fired from your job, and figure out what companies are thinking when it comes to their employees.
I’m an HR Manager by trade. It’s my passion. The things I’m going to share with you consume my thoughts for about 50 hours per week. My brain has been churning these ideas for some time. And the book, that I never seem to be able to finish, is now going to turn into a FREE online series for you. You’re welcome, internet.
So without further ado, let’s kick it off.
I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays.
YOUR RESUME SUCKS! THAT’S WHY I’M NOT HIRING YOU!
This is a place of honesty, right? Okay, good. Since we’re being honest, I want to tell you a secret. Your resume gets about 5 seconds of my time. You get longer than that if I think I would interview you. You get longer than that once you get into the interview, and I sit down and pick it apart piece by piece.
The key to your success? Land an interview. This means you need a great resume. Today, you are getting several examples of great resumes that I have
stolen borrowed from applicants. These resumes are eye catching and will get you noticed by the powers that be.
Resumes need bullet points and action words. I like to see statistics of your past performance and not a lot of fluffy garbage. Tell me that you were promoted. Tell me that you increased/reduced some sort of metric. Don’t assume I know what you were doing in your last position based on the job title.
A great place to start gathering ideas for your resume is to Google your job description. There’s no sense in reinventing the wheel. Some nice HR person has already written down what you’re supposed to be doing at work each day. It’s part of our job. Take that job description and personalize into what you actually did.
The bones of your resume:
Let’s discuss these bullet points. These are not sentences. They are statements without periods.
- Increased sales in my region by 45%
- Introduced new software and trained staff
Do you see what I’m doing there? Under each position put bullet points. And the bullets begin with an action word. In previous jobs, these action words will be past tense (as they are above). In your current position, your bullet points will be present tense (unless it is something you have finished – like a project).
- Leading the project management for green initiatives (this is something you are currently doing)
- Developing a cost savings plan to reduce waste by 89.2% in the coming year (this is something you’re currently doing)
- Generated leads using new social media techniques (this is something you have already accomplished in this job)
Google “resume action words” if you need assistance coming up with different words to use.
Objectives are stupid.
Let me tell you another secret. There isn’t a Hiring Manager in the world that doesn’t know what your objective is when you send them a resume. It’s to get a job, right? So take off that whole line, and use that valuable space for something else. Maybe you could just throw a title at the top of what you wish to be with the company.
Click here to see an example of that: Simple Business Resume
You mostly need a one page resume. Unless you need two pages. You never need more than two pages.
If you’re accomplished in a professional career, you will probably need a two page resume. If you’re a job hopper, new to the world of working, or have been performing the same types of jobs in the same types of industries – you need one page.
But Meredith, that doesn’t make any sense at all!
I know, I know. I’ve contradicted myself. Try to make it one page. That’s the goal. Unless you can’t. Just let me show you.
My resume cannot fit on one page because all of the HR-y stuff takes up too much room since my current job is that of a generalist. This means that I wear many hats in my day-to-day that would be vital for a new employer to see. Mine is two pages. As a general rule of thumb, high level managers tend to have two pages.
Click here to see my professional resume: Meredith’s Resume Sample
What if I don’t have that much (or any) experience in my desired field?
If this is your problem, it’s important you are flashy and perfect all at the same time. No lame people allowed. We all began somewhere, so your resume needs to stand out against the crowd. Make a statement. Tell them you’re smart enough to do this.
The resume I’m going to show is that of an Administrative Assistant that has dabbled in social media and would like to make social media his career of choice.
Click here to see a changing careers resume: Captain Awesome Wants A New Career
Did you see how we never told them how long you have been doing social media at your new job? We totally tricked them into interviewing you. The big letters made your resume memorable.
I’m in design. What do you suggest for someone in design?
You resume cannot just be words on a paper. You need to actually design a resume. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IT’S OKAY TO USE COLORS ON YOUR RESUME! The rules of black and white do not apply to designers. They just apply to the rest of us.
I’m not in design, so I’m not even going to pretend like I can create a design resume.
Click here to see a great design resume: macnider_resume
Again, do not create a logo (and use colors on your resume) unless you are in some sort of design field.
If you’re scholarly…
For those of you who have pursued higher education and lack career experience (or maybe your goal is to become a professor or do research), I have made a great academic resume for you.
You need to put that education right at the top. Lead with this, since it really matters in your field.
Click here if you’re super smart: Scholarly CV.Resume
You smarties probably need two pages.
If you’re scholarly and you want to break into the business world, you need to make this resume lead with experience.
DO NOT do these things (unless you want to get laughed at or not taken seriously):
- Use a stupid email address (email@example.com)
- Put colors on your resume (this is not Legally Blonde, it’s business)
- Have typos (how do I trust you to send emails if you don’t even proof read your resume)
- Put lengthy “Goals” and “Objectives” – save that for the cover letter
- Forget your name – seriously, sometimes people forget to put their name on their resume
- Forget to sell yourself – you need to look like the best and brightest
- Call the HR person 500 times to check on your resume – you can call TWICE (never more than twice or you become annoying)
- LIE – DON’T LIE! It could cost you the job!
The next version of I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays will tackle the cover letter. Good luck out there. And again, if you have any questions, ask away! YOU CAN DO THIS!
That’s all I’ve got for this session. If you want me to email you any of these version in Word format (so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel), just let me know in the comments section. If you don’t think any of these resumes fit your needs, leave a comment and I can send you something else.