Welcome to the every other Monday series, I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays. This series is designed to help you find a job you love, find any job at all, not get fired from your job, and figure out what companies are thinking when it comes to their employees.
I’m an HR Manager by trade. It’s my passion. The things I’m going to share with you consume my thoughts for about 50 hours per week. My brain has been churning these ideas for some time. And the book, that I never seem to be able to finish, is now going to turn into a FREE online series for you. You’re welcome, internet.
So without further ado, let’s kick it off.
I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays.
YOUR RESUME SUCKS! THAT’S WHY I’M NOT HIRING YOU!
This is a place of honesty, right? Okay, good. Since we’re being honest, I want to tell you a secret. Your resume gets about 5 seconds of my time. You get longer than that if I think I would interview you. You get longer than that once you get into the interview, and I sit down and pick it apart piece by piece.
The key to your success? Land an interview. This means you need a great resume. Today, you are getting several examples of great resumes that I have stolen borrowed from applicants. These resumes are eye catching and will get you noticed by the powers that be.
Resumes need bullet points and action words. I like to see statistics of your past performance and not a lot of fluffy garbage. Tell me that you were promoted. Tell me that you increased/reduced some sort of metric. Don’t assume I know what you were doing in your last position based on the job title.
A great place to start gathering ideas for your resume is to Google your job description. There’s no sense in reinventing the wheel. Some nice HR person has already written down what you’re supposed to be doing at work each day. It’s part of our job. Take that job description and personalize into what you actually did.
The bones of your resume:
Let’s discuss these bullet points. These are not sentences. They are statements without periods.
For example:
- Increased sales in my region by 45%
- Introduced new software and trained staff
Do you see what I’m doing there? Under each position put bullet points. And the bullets begin with an action word. In previous jobs, these action words will be past tense (as they are above). In your current position, your bullet points will be present tense (unless it is something you have finished – like a project).
For example:
- Leading the project management for green initiatives (this is something you are currently doing)
- Developing a cost savings plan to reduce waste by 89.2% in the coming year (this is something you’re currently doing)
- Generated leads using new social media techniques (this is something you have already accomplished in this job)
Google “resume action words” if you need assistance coming up with different words to use.
Objectives are stupid.
Let me tell you another secret. There isn’t a Hiring Manager in the world that doesn’t know what your objective is when you send them a resume. It’s to get a job, right? So take off that whole line, and use that valuable space for something else. Maybe you could just throw a title at the top of what you wish to be with the company.
Click here to see an example of that: Simple Business Resume
You mostly need a one page resume. Unless you need two pages. You never need more than two pages.
If you’re accomplished in a professional career, you will probably need a two page resume. If you’re a job hopper, new to the world of working, or have been performing the same types of jobs in the same types of industries – you need one page.
But Meredith, that doesn’t make any sense at all!
I know, I know. I’ve contradicted myself. Try to make it one page. That’s the goal. Unless you can’t. Just let me show you.
My resume cannot fit on one page because all of the HR-y stuff takes up too much room since my current job is that of a generalist. This means that I wear many hats in my day-to-day that would be vital for a new employer to see. Mine is two pages. As a general rule of thumb, high level managers tend to have two pages.
Click here to see my professional resume: Meredith’s Resume Sample
What if I don’t have that much (or any) experience in my desired field?
If this is your problem, it’s important you are flashy and perfect all at the same time. No lame people allowed. We all began somewhere, so your resume needs to stand out against the crowd. Make a statement. Tell them you’re smart enough to do this.
The resume I’m going to show is that of an Administrative Assistant that has dabbled in social media and would like to make social media his career of choice.
Click here to see a changing careers resume: Captain Awesome Wants A New Career
Did you see how we never told them how long you have been doing social media at your new job? We totally tricked them into interviewing you. The big letters made your resume memorable.
I’m in design. What do you suggest for someone in design?
You resume cannot just be words on a paper. You need to actually design a resume. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IT’S OKAY TO USE COLORS ON YOUR RESUME! The rules of black and white do not apply to designers. They just apply to the rest of us.
I’m not in design, so I’m not even going to pretend like I can create a design resume.
Click here to see a great design resume: macnider_resume
Again, do not create a logo (and use colors on your resume) unless you are in some sort of design field.
If you’re scholarly…
For those of you who have pursued higher education and lack career experience (or maybe your goal is to become a professor or do research), I have made a great academic resume for you.
You need to put that education right at the top. Lead with this, since it really matters in your field.
Click here if you’re super smart: Scholarly CV.Resume
You smarties probably need two pages.
If you’re scholarly and you want to break into the business world, you need to make this resume lead with experience.
DO NOT do these things (unless you want to get laughed at or not taken seriously):
- Use a stupid email address (smokesweedallday@gmail.com)
- Put colors on your resume (this is not Legally Blonde, it’s business)
- Have typos (how do I trust you to send emails if you don’t even proof read your resume)
- Put lengthy “Goals” and “Objectives” – save that for the cover letter
- Forget your name – seriously, sometimes people forget to put their name on their resume
- Forget to sell yourself – you need to look like the best and brightest
- Call the HR person 500 times to check on your resume – you can call TWICE (never more than twice or you become annoying)
- LIE – DON’T LIE! It could cost you the job!
The next version of I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays will tackle the cover letter. Good luck out there. And again, if you have any questions, ask away! YOU CAN DO THIS!
That’s all I’ve got for this session. If you want me to email you any of these version in Word format (so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel), just let me know in the comments section. If you don’t think any of these resumes fit your needs, leave a comment and I can send you something else.
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
Awesome! Thank you for this, learnt that I need to seriously edit my resume! Lots of waffle and paragraphs on mine. :/
Oh and btw the design resume link doesn’t work.
Looking forward to more of this!
Fixed!
Thank you so much for this Meredith. I’ve been trying to land a job after so many years as a SAHM and just realized how awful my resume must look. I now know what I will be doing tonight. THANKS!
As a SAHM, don’t forget to list your household as a career. You probably do many tasks that include everything from finance to childcare. If you don’t list the time spent at home, you will appear to have a gap in your employment.
Spot on! I want to put this as a link that everyone who applies for one of my jobs has to read before submitting their resume.
Here’s some other good stuff that I humbly submit for your reading enjoyment.
Don’t try and make something that is not very hard seem like you came up with the cure for cancer. If you student taught I know what you did. You did not teach blind people to see or teach mute people to talk. You student taught.
Do not put a bunch of personal information on your resume. I do not care about your height, weight, number of kids, their interests, what you and your wife do on vacations, etc. That all takes up space that you could use to sell yourself on why I should hire you.
If you are applying for something that you have never done before please sell me on why, even though you’ve never done this before, you are the cat’s meow and I should consider you.
Also NEVER EVER EVER send me a cover letter with any spelling of my name other than what it is. My name is in the job posting. Get it correct. If you have that little attention to detail when you are applying what is it going to be like when you are comfortable and working for me? Oh and while you’re at it I get that you are applying to more jobs than just mine. I do. I understand. It’s a bad time to be looking. That being said please change the cover letter to reflect my name and not the name of some other guy at some other employer. Your cover letter is written in Microsoft Word. Put my name and then press save.
Some of my all time favorite blunders have been:
Cover letter hand written on notebook paper
List of records in athletic events that applicant still held at his high school
List of all jobs that applicant had turned down and why
Cover letter explaining that this particular applicant wanted to leave their current employer because he was a giant A Hole. (Most usually wait until the resume to bash their current employer. This guy got it out of the way early)
I could go on and on.
ALL SO TRUE!
Do people actually leave their height and weight on resumes? Seriously? I’m truly curious, because I cannot believe that!
I looked at one today that told me he works out, and also told me the times he works out, and the gym where he works out (you know, in case I need to go there to verify).
I picked up a french fry while reading it, and I actually felt a little bad about my lack of working out.
Make that last statement most wait until the interview to bash their current employer.
I guess I just eliminated myself from your job!
And now you’re fired.
NOOOOO. I REALLY NEED THIS JOB! Is there anything that I can do? Please. I have a wife and kids and a dog and a cat and a car payment and a boat payment and a credit and and …..
Hi Meredith
Thanks for these, I haven’t even looked at my resume in about 20 years! After working in the same company for almost 30 years (started here fresh out of high school) I feel like that fact is going to be a negative in pursuing a new position. As someone in HR what would you think? Does it look like I’m someone with no ambition? I just don’t know that I can put into enough words or the proper “pick me” words to sell who am I and what I do anymore. It all seems so mundane and monotonous and with younger people with degrees etc coming in – why would anyone choose me over them? Does loyalty amount to anything in todays work world?
You look like “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
Turnover costs big bucks in business. The #1 question is why you want to leave. Have an excellent answer. HR people LOVE people that can show longevity and loyalty.
Wonderful!! This is a great source of information. I worked 18 years in one field, to totally do a switch 4 years ago. A solid professional looking resume is crucial!! I believe that my well written resume (Thanks to my BFF Erin and her awesome abilities!) and my preperation for the grueling interview process were keys to my success.
I don’t think you realize just what you are doing for people who read your blog. You are giving them tools to help themselves get into better careers. You lifescrazyjoke are bettering man kind.
I printed this out and hung it on my husband’s side of the bathroom mirror. He needs to be reminded of my betterment of mankind once in awhile.
what exactly is involved in a cover letter??
It’s basically a letter telling more about you and why you want to
dry humpwork for their company. Think of it as the “suck up” letter.I don’t give them much thought (because I can see through the bullshit), but some HR people love a good cover letter. We will tackle this next.
As someone with a PhD and a job as a professor, I’d like to add a few things to your CV advice, if I may.
1. The CV you offer is a good model for someone newly out of graduate school or a post-doc. However, once there are at least two publications and at least two presentations of research at conferences, then those categories should be separated. As more items get added to the CV, people expect things to be broken down into sub-sections (e.g. PUBLICATIONS is separated into Book(s), Articles, Reviews; CONFERENCES is broken down into Paper/Poster Presentations, Panels Organized/Respondents positions). The reason for this is that everyone knows a book review is about four pages long, whereas an article is 30+, and it looks like you’re “cheating” by trying to sneak something small into a category of highly-vetted, competitive publications. I would imagine that in the sciences (I’m in a humanities field), where it’s the norm to have all articles be multi-author, the articles might be separated into first author, and not-first-author categories.
2. Research Experience and Professional Development may be irrelevant in some fields, while Service (being on committees, running conferences, supervising student theses, etc.) will be a big important category as soon as you’re even one year into a faculty position. Grants is another useful category to consider; in the sciences and social sciences, it will matter a lot — and grants are often listed with $amounts for big ones. In the humanities, where grants are smaller and farther between, Grants and Awards makes a useful category.
3. List your dissertation title and adviser in the PhD line at the top, at least in the humanities disciplines.
4. Teaching Experience should list the specific classes you’ve taught (with titles, not just course numbers, since those are meaningless to most people).
5. It’s pretty common to list your Current Position right at the top. (e.g. Associate Professor of Awesome Studies, Department of Magnificence; hired 2000; tenured 2007.)
6. Professional Memberships is a typical last category.
As this all suggests, it’s extremely common for a full academic CV to be quite long. Eleven years in, mine is five full pages, with nowhere near the white space your samples show. HOWEVER–and this is important–you would only ever submit the full CV as part of a large grant application or when applying for a new job or if it were requested. For applications to a conference or to accompany anything of smaller scale than a job-switch or a multi-million dollar grant, you should have a short version, where all the categories are labeled with Selected (e.g. Selected Publications), and that is absolutely no longer than two pages.
Thanks for the input! As someone in business, it helps to have advice from someone on the PhD side of things!
I do love the fact that someone in HR has already written what I’m supposed to be “dong” at work all day
. Wish you had written this a few months ago, when I was sweating over my resume. I got the position, but the resume was the most stressful part of the whole process. That, and the fact that I have never, once, had the opportunity to dong at work.
Excellent advice & so needed by so many people.
I’m sure this won’t be of huge help to anyone else…but hear me out.
Within a year and a few months of working for my current company, I have been promoted three times to positions in different departments: database analyst, social media ambassador, product support, and now marketing assistant/coordinator.
Should I include my responsibilities/accomplishments from my current position, while highlighting that I was promoted? Or should I include some of my past accomplishments from the other positions? I’m not sure how it should flow.
Thanks for the tips, by the way! I love to continually update my resume.
I had that same problem. If you look at the second page of my resume sample (Meredith’s Sample Resume) – I show movement by listing each thing as a new job under the same company. You can do it that way, or you can just make bullets right away that highlight the promotions.
Great job on the promotions!
Thanks again! You rock.
Thanks for the wonderful post! I have a couple questions, if you don’t mind! First, at what point do I take my high school off my resume? Also, at what point do I take off my college GPA from my resume? Second, what is the standard for putting “References Available Upon Request”? Should I just attach references? Put “References Available Upon Request” as the default, unless asked otherwise? Also, if I get an interview, and references aren’t asked for upon coming for the interview, is there a chance they’d spring it on me there and say, “Hi, I want your references right now”? Hopefully that makes sense.
Also, I was wondering if you could send me a Word version of at least one of these resumes. I’m in a Master’s Program… I’m not sure which one of these would apply? I’m not in a super business program, but also, I’m in the midst of education… so I’m not sure where to put my education!
I have one last question, actually: Before I graduate with my Master’s, how important is it to get experience in my field, even just through an internship or something? How likely am I to be thrown in the HELL NO pile if I *don’t* get this experience before graduation?
Molly,
Good questions. I probably would recommend removing your HS after you have your first job. As for the GPA you can take it off or leave it on. If it is good you might leave it on longer. If it is average or worse I probably wouldn’t ever put it on your resume.
As for references that is a debate that I’ve had with other professionals. I personally hate “references available upon request”. My opinion is that if I am going to hire you or even interview you then I will need references. Don’t make me have to do work to hire you is my thought. That being said I’ve heard from other people who are just as passionate about not providing references. Their thought is that if they aren’t a serious candidate for a position they don’t want me calling and getting their curent employer worked up. I guess if the job posting says provide resume and references then you should. I’d be interested in Meredith’s opinion on this.
MC
Molly- I agree with Mike. If I really want your GPA, I’ll get it from you or the school. If it’s amazing, you should list it.
In response to Mike’s response to you:
I see what you’re saying. I just think it would be odd to interview someone AFTER you check their references. For example, I think the best reference is a co-worker or a current boss. But maybe that person hasn’t told anyone that they’re looking yet. Maybe they just threw it out there to see if they could catch a bite. In this instance, they will almost always give you better references (like co-workers) once you get deeper into the interview process.
But can I tell you a secret? Good.
I hardly ever call the references they provided to me. These people have mostly been coached. I like to catch people off guard. So I call their places of employment (or past employment) and ask people that are caught off guard.
Hey, this is Meredith. I’m the HR Manager at Some Company and I was thinking of hiring so and so. But there is just something about him. I can’t really put my finger on it. Of course, this conversation is totally off the record, but did you work with him?
And even if there is NOTHING wrong with the guy – the person on the phone thinks you picked up on whatever negative behavior they had (because I said there was something about the guy) so they start spilling the beans.
Oh, yeah. Bob is a great guy. Sometimes he comes on a little too aggressive, but he can sure make a sale! I’ll bet it’s his aggressiveness and general hatred of women that you picked up on.
Yeah, you’re probably right. Thanks!
And now I know Bob hates women. Nice. That’s way better than anything a reference he provided would tell me. But since I can tame any woman-hater, I may just hire Bob.
So don’t even worry about the references unless someone like Mike wants them right up front. Some job postings will ask for the references. You MUST give them with your resume if they ask or you’ll be disregarded.
Try to do an unpaid internship if you cannot find a paid one. Just call companies, and ask to come in and do an unpaid internship to boost your resume. They will probably allow you to do that (because it’s free help). And who knows – maybe you’ll do so well that they hire you on once you graduate!
GOOD LUCK, MOLLY!
Thanks for this response! This is totally helpful. Your response made me think of one last question, though: I’ve always believed that references could only be bosses, or other people “above” you. Is it seen as “cheating” to use a coworker as a reference? I know you said that you don’t really call references listed all too often, but would you prefer to see a co-worker listed, or a supervisor or something?
Thank you again!
Anyone you worked with is the best. Do not list a friend or a preacher. Bosses are better than co-workers, but co-workers are better than someone you did not work beside.
I care about how people perform at their jobs, not if they pray a lot or can make up awesome drinking games on the weekends.
I love the format of your resume. Definitely stealing it.
Here’s a question – I have had ‘bit jobs’ in college but none that lasted very long (I was too busy partying) but I did a prestigious internship in second year and have had two solid jobs since.
Am I better off to include these bit jobs anyway or leave them off because they might make me look flaky?
Following on from that, I did promotional work for a number of different companies, but it’s all basically the same work in a different t-shirt – Can I list it all together as one?
For example
- Promoted numerous brands including nightclubs, arts and culture events and internet start-ups.
- Successfully engaged with the public resulting in revenue increases for the companies for which I earned significant bonus payments.
I would probably list the promotional work as just that and then bullet off your duties. Make the first bullet list the companies you actually worked with. It makes it seem more real to a recruiter.
For example:
Brand Promoter
-Promoted companies such as Johnson & Johnson, Kodak, and Proctor & Gamble
-Successfully engaged with… (that’s good, btw)
The other question: What you don’t see on my resume is work I did as a bank teller and perfume squirt girl at Dillard’s. I just left them off of there because it was just a few months, and I hated it. I never balanced my bank drawer. I was always 5 cents off. I hated asking people if they wanted to try some stinky perfume. So I just left them off. They don’t apply to what I wanted, anyway.
You are such a rock star, this is gonna be so useful to so many people.
When do you recommend people placing education first versus experience? I see that some of the examples listed recent jobs before education. I did very well in school and have an advanced degree (and license that is listed first). However, my jobs are not on that career path.
Also, I have the same issue of being moved in roles (promoted and in between departments – not for bad reasons, and after at least 8-12 months each) – and am not sure how to best list these so that I don’t look like a bad hire for ‘bouncing’ around when in reality I’ve done well. I know that I can explain it in an interview, but I would have to get the interview first!
Finally, how do you best explain to a future employer (or show it on your resume) the reason you left a job was because of your significant other moving to another state (and thus you)?
To show movement in the same company, list the company and then list individual jobs underneath with bullet points of duties. Look at the second page of Meredith’s Resume Sample.
You can make the last bullet point show why you moved to another state.
For example:
-Moved to Washington DC when my fiance was relocated
Or you can just put a sentence in the cover letter about it. With the economy the way it is, I see a lot of state to state movement, and I don’t think anything of it at all. So I wouldn’t be too worried about that.
List education first if you are working in the research or education field. If you’re in business, list your career first.
Things that make life hard: when the people you are applying to aren’t as smart as you, Meredith.
Examples include: when you apply to a job on Craigslist and the info is all misspelled, there is no employer name OR company name, etc. And, yet, I still apply on the off-chance that this nameless, idiotic, blind employer at 343024890@craigslist.org is better than my current job. And then I get a response asking for a head shot. You know, to work in admin.
(face palm)
Be very careful with the blind Craig’s List ad. Yes, it is free. And I use it all the time to advertise. However, if it feels wrong and scammy, do not apply. I’ve heard horror stories about people having their information stolen because they sent a resume.
HR people that don’t respond to tell you got the job are huge jerks.
Oh crap. I knew I had to go back and update my resume. It’s friggin’ 10 years out of date. I probably look like I’m 10 years out of date too!
OK, I am 10 years out of date, but the HR hiring person doesn’t need to know that.
So in your job you get to take people out to lunch right? If you pinch their (butt) cheeks they can’t do anything about it right? So we want to get hired in your job, right?
Um. No. I would still get fired for doing any of those things.
And my job is not easy. Remember, I ruin lives for a living. I tell people they no longer have a job after I make their day and give them the job.
I would want to be a salesman, if I could do it over again. Sales is the way to go.
Thank you so much for this info, it’s exactly what I need right now! Would you please send me the Simple Business Resume and your resume in word format? I’m assuming since I put my email up there you have it, but…you know what assuming does, right?
Thanks! Oh, and you are pretty. I mean that in the most noncreepy way ever.
Done!
Hi Meredith. Thank you so much for this information. My resume is a bit outdated, and could some help. I’s like a word version of your resume if you don’t mind. I really like the format. Thanks again!
Shea
No problem! Look for it today!
Ughh… speak of spell check.***I’d like a word version, was what I meant to say.
Meredith!
This is great information! I emailed you a few weeks back asking your advice on how to job search without telling my current employer, and your reply was perfect. I was just starting to update my resume when I read this post. Very helpful, as always! It’s nice to get a look into what the HR person is thinking when reading resumes, conducting interviews, etc. Looking forward to the cover letter post!
A question for a future Case of the Mondays. What are your thoughts as an HR person on LinkedIn? How important is it for job candidates to keep one and have it updated, or is it more useful as a tool for the job seeker to find posted jobs than to actually get a job because someone looked at it when they were searching or about to interview this person? Thank you!
You should be on LinkedIn. I want to see that you know how to navigate the internet. And MOST recruiters use this site. So accept EVERYONE that wants to link to you.
You can use it to find jobs. But join groups to make connections.
Let’s link up: http://www.linkedin.com/in/meredithsoleau
Can I please get a copy of the simple resume in Word format? Thanks!
As a soon to be graduate, I would love if I could get a copy of these resumes in Word format! Do you have any specific advice on what a resume should look like for teaching positions? Also, do you think for a future Monday article could you explain more about Linkedin and how it works? Thanks!
Meredith,
First, thanks so much for doing this series! It’s a huge help just to be able to learn from someone on the other side. I have a quick question, though: you say that, if an applicant lacks experience, he or she ought to sell him/herself like there’s no tomorrow. My husband is very quiet and introverted, and thus (1) hasn’t had many jobs (especially ones that require interaction with people) and (2) isn’t the “flashiest” of people. Adding to this, he has a degree in Reconciliation Studies, which qualifies him for…nothing. What advice would you have for him/us?
Thanks so much, you’re a gem!
I know I am super late commenting on this, but I just started searching for a new job, while still employed. My question is who do I use as a reference if I can’t use my current coworkers/supervisors/managers because I want to keep it confidential? The only non-work related people I have are my boyfriend and family, and obviously HR managers are going to know they’ll say anything to help me get a job. Also, any advice on applying for a position at a car dealership?
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