Just say no.

by Meredith on December 16, 2014

I’ve been doing this weirdly gratifying experiment. I’ve been telling people no whenever I don’t want to do something.

In fact, I think I’m starting to get off on telling people no. I’m obsessed!

Probably because I’ve spent so many years doing everything for others, that it finally feels right to be doing things for myself. I should have done this long ago.

You’ve really got to try it. So to help you, I’m giving you my most popular forms of rejection.

You’re welcome in advance.


1. This just isn’t a good fit for me. I don’t like it. 

Say this whenever something isn’t a good fit for you, and you just don’t like it.

The TV show was a bad fit for me. I didn’t enjoy it. It made me uncomfortable. It felt like a very demanding hobby. So I quit. I don’t even feel bad about it.

Ladies, I see so many of you keep men around for too long. Tell them they aren’t right for you and you don’t like them. Just be upfront, or you could be missing out on someone really great for you!

It’s okay to throw in the towel sometimes.

2. I don’t have time.

I turn down work like crazy. I just don’t have the time to do it.

There’s no sense in committing to something that you’re going to half ass, or worse, never even start working on it.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.

3. No. You’re not going to fuck me. Fuck you.

Sometimes you just have to tell folks to “fuck off”. If you don’t, they’ll keep messing with you.

And you don’t necessarily need to cuss to get this point across. What you can say is, “You’re being super stupid.” And then you make them feel super stupid for being so stupid.

I can give you, like, 80 examples of when to use this, but we don’t have all day. So here are just a few examples:

1. When someone owes you money: You may have to call your attorney for this – he probably is really good at “fuck you”.

2. When someone gets aggressive with you or your buddies: “Whoa! Are you getting loud with me? You’re being super stupid.”

3. When someone has been talking about you in a bad way: “Bye, Felicia.”

Don’t put up with this kind of garbage, folks.

4. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to learn.

You have to add the second part. People try to tell me they will teach me how to do things all the time. No. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to learn.

This is why I still don’t know how to send something via FedEx. I knew if I committed to learning how to fill out shipment forms, I would become the go-to FedEx girl for the office. So I never learned. I just didn’t want to deal with it.

5. You’ll be fine. You can totally handle it all by yourself.

Sometimes people just want you to do their work for them.

No! Tell them to do their own work!

6. Maybe you should try this other thing instead, and I will handle my business without you. 

People want what you’ve got. Especially if you open your own company and people get the impression that all you do for a living is play around on Facebook all day long.

These people clearly don’t understand that you have spent years perfecting your craft, and that you’re actually an expert in this space. So they should just stick with what they know. And you should just stick with what you know.

I like fashion. It doesn’t mean I should design clothes. Same goes for most people and any sort of digital media marketing. So I’ll do this job. And you keep doing your job. Unless you’re looking to become my assistant. Then I will teach you.

So no, I don’t want to teach you how to open your own agency, doing exactly what I do at my agency. #SorryNotSorry

7. If I take on one more project, my family will kill me.

If you don’t want to do something, this is the perfect excuse. Who can argue with family time? No one. That’s who.

Sorry, PTA.

8. Stop hounding me. I am never going to do this thing.

People don’t like rejection. So typically, they go away.

But every once in awhile, you run into someone who direct sells body wraps,  mascara, or meal supplements. These people don’t understand the word “no”. They are taught to “overcome rejection”.

You have to tell them straight up that you have zero desire in ever becoming “fitness coach”, even if it means you are missing out on six figures a year.

9. Drop off the face of the planet.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I just disappear. I am no longer on your radar.

I stop taking your calls, I won’t open your emails, I have maybe even unfriended you on Facebook.

I just want you gone. In a quiet way.

Totally works. And I no longer feel angsty whenever I see your name.

10. Just say no.

Because oftentimes, we don’t owe anyone an explanation for our decisions. Why do we feel obligated to make excuses? Just say no. Don’t even apologize after you say it.

Will you try it? Will you just say no?



They gave me a list of questions to discuss with you guys. I’m throwing the list out the window. I want to explore the deeper meaning of this book. Because even if you didn’t read a single page, the deeper meaning really is something worth something talking about in any relationship and with yourself.

If you’re late to the party, we have been reading The Missing Something Club by William Haylon.

9780692026380_p0_v2_s260x420When I am asked to review something, I do it honestly. I feel like I owe it to my readers to not be a sell out (even if I was paid in wine and free downloads for you guys – I LOVE WINE).

So let’s start with the bad news first. After all, everyone’s a critic. In this case, a book critic.

Mr. Haylon needs an editor. Not in a Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey bad writing way, but just in a add-a-comma-after-names-when-you’re-addressing-someone kind of way.

Then again, I’m a comma whore. So yes, there are some typos. But you know what? It even didn’t matter.

Honestly, I loved this book.

I really became emotionally invested with these very flawed characters (who met once a week at a local pub to discuss why they were failing at life).

Here’s why they are all failing:

You can’t force love.

This was the entire theme, wrapped up neatly in one sentence, but when you read this ONE sentence in the book, you end up having a complete epiphany.

These characters were all fucked up, because each one of them made the same mistake in a variety of ways. They tried to force love (or someone else did) because they wanted it so badly (or because they were running from it). They would enter the wrong relationships, hoping everything would work out in the end.

Which is why, in my opinion, divorce rates are so high.

You can’t force love.

So don’t marry the wrong person or hang around because you think this is what your life should be.

You guys know I am a HUGE fan of working it out and staying married, but if you both aren’t willing to work at it, LEAVE. RUN. GO.

I guess, what I really took away from this book, was a deeper understanding of why some relationships don’t work, and will never work. Someone can’t want love more than the other person. Period.

Let’s See Which Character Best Describes You
(even if you did not read this book, I bet you can relate, or you have been with someone like this)

Tracy: She was the kind of girl so desperate for someone to pay attention to her, that she would mistakenly fall in love with someone she never met from online dating, and she would send naked selfies of herself to guys. She would also let people move in with her after a single in-real-life date. She rushed everything. Complete acts of desperation all the time. I KNOW SO MANY WOMEN LIKE THIS!

Charlie: She was sleeping around on her husband. Even though her husband was a great guy, and together they seemed to have it all, she just never really loved him. And by anyone’s standards, she had a perfect life. Kids. White picket fence. The whole nine yards. Yet? She was always looking for something else.

Jeremy: Work-a-holic. He never had time for a relationship. Then he was fired from his job and realized he had nothing. He couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be touched anymore.

Arthur: Arthur is old and wise. In his old age, he confessed that he never stopped thinking about the one who got away, even after 50 years of marriage.

Eric: His wife is pretty much his full-time prostitute. She sleeps with him for a roof over her head, and he takes care of her and her son in return. They literally do not talk to one another.

David: The player. He is super lonely. His hook-ups are often drunken, mean nothing, and no one is really good enough to keep around. He has a child he never sees from a very brief relationship.

Kate: Her husband left her after her 50th birthday for a younger woman. She had been a kept woman. Now she finds herself trying to navigate the world alone for the first time ever. As a result, she comes off very cold and bitter. Why? She’s your typical scorned woman.

Know anyone like these characters? Of course you do!

So what did you guys think of it? Did you like it? Do you relate to any of these characters?


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